Disappointment is a strange feeling. I was actually quite surprised to find it entering my heart. God was very quick to speak to me regarding my feelings.
Don't be disappointed. Your writing is not judged by these people, but by me. I asked you to write the book, and it is doing that which I set out to complete. I always complete what I begin. Your true value is not found here in the opinions of others, it is found in your love for me and your obedience to me. You cannot yet see the fruit of your obedience, but one day you will see the hearts touched and lives changed by your work. Be prepared to be blessed, because your treasure is laid up in heaven. Each word of truth that you write brings glory to my name. Write, smile and praise me, I love you more than anyone else ever will.
The next morning I received a lovely email from a friend, confirming everything that God had spoken the night before. He really works in the most kind-hearted and intimate ways.
My disappointment stems from school days, when I loved to be the best at everything, loved to achieve and win all the awards, and I did many times. However my reason for living has changed much since then, and God is still continuing his work to change my heart. Little by little exposing the sin that hides there, as much as I can endure each time. Because as he spoke above:
What God begins he completes. When God makes a promise to transform your life, he will see it through to finality.
And I for one, am so thankful for his patience and love.
And so now, I look forward to going to the awards dinner in November, and encouraging and supporting my writing friends, who's hard work is also touching many hearts. Bring on the good times!