Sin is Something We Didn't Do

I did not grow up as a Christian. I think I knew God in my own way and I even talked to him at times, but I didn't follow Jesus.

Sin was something that was easy for me to understand. If we did something wrong it was sin. At least that is what I thought. So if I steered clear of all of the 'naughty' things, then I was a good person. For me life would be good and I would not have to worry about God, because all good people go to Heaven, right? That is how I lived, and I believe most people still do live each day.

I was saved by Jesus when I was 16 and was healed of ongoing illness at the same time.  But that is a story for another day.  Fast forward a few years later and I was married with kids.   I was a good person. I looked after my family. I earned my living. I gave to those who needed it. I was keen to help out. In the eyes of those around me, I must have looked alright. I must admit I was quite content to live my life in this way for a great many years, until my heart started to question some things.

You see I wasn't always good. In fact at times I was downright rude and disrespectful. I thought things about people that I knew I shouldn't. I said and did things that I knew were not right. I had given my life to Jesus years before and then taken it back again, essentially proclaiming that I could do it better. The way I was living spoke spades, ‘Thanks for the salvation, but I can take it from here!’ Somewhere along the line I had stopped believing that I needed Jesus, or perhaps that I knew enough of Him, and if I got any closer I would become one of those freaky religious people.  So it got me to thinking if God would allow me into Heaven being the basically 'good' person that I am, why would he send others to hell? Does he have a scale of one to ten that he uses to measure us on? "Hmmm she only stole some paper from the school supplies when she was 9 and called her Father a Son of a Bi#*h, thirteen times. She can still come in. But that fella over there he crashed into and killed a family of 5, send him into the darkness."

No way, that is not how God works and that is not how sin keeps us out of Heaven and separated from God, even now.

'The world's sin is that it refuses to believe in me. Righteousness is available because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more. Judgment will come because the ruler of this world has already been judged.' (John 16:9-11)

What keeps us separated from God and bound for a very unpleasant place for eternity is not something we have already done, but what we have not done!

Jesus spoke the words above just before he was killed on the cross. He was saying that if we will believe in Him, we would be forgiven by God. Righteousness simply means we can stand blameless, untainted, and clean in front of God. So not only do we get the unbelievable opportunity of a repaired relationship with God, but we also get to avoid his wrath. You see there has to be punishment for sin, because otherwise Heaven would not be Heaven. There would be no peace, no happiness, complete health and well-being in a place that contains sin.

I didn't get it for so many years. I thought you had to do everything just right to be a Christian. Because Christians are holier than thou, and live perfect lives, free of mistakes and live a life that is challenge free. I could not have been more wrong. And I am so glad I was wrong.

I don't know if you have thought about sin this way before, but it was really on my heart to share. If Jesus didn't die, then I would have. There would have been no way open to me to have a better life. Our life here is so short, and we are all given a choice in that time.

I am a good Mum. I love my husband. I like to help others. I think I am a good friend. I like to listen to and encourage people. Yet none of it saved me. Jesus did. Because one day I came to realise that there was more to life than what I saw with my eyes, and that I couldn’t live (in every sense of the word) without Him. I am so glad that I realised that when I did.

Easter and Love

Love is... a new puppy.

Love is...the embrace of family and friends

Love is... the wind upon my face reminding me that the Creator of all of this...

paid the ultimate price, so I don't have to.

Love is and always will be, because God Himself IS love.

At Easter we remember that love is spelt

S  A  C  R  I  F I  C  E

with a capital JESUS.

And that is how I know what love is.  So I can shower it madly upon all whom I meet.  Holding naught back, as I know the Source of love will never run dry.  What is love to you?

Jump In And Make Friends

In our 11 years of marriage, Don and I have moved around quite often.  We have always been blessed to have good friends wherever we have been.  There is one thing that we have noticed though and it is a really simple, yet sad occurrence.  When you move around frequently people are sometimes reluctant to be friendly. We have noticed it again since we have moved down here.  It seems that often people have a defence mechanism that tells them that if you are leaving within a year or so, then it is probably not best to cement new friendships-'after all they are leaving anyway'.  It is not something that people come out and say, but rather a silent withdrawal followed by a lack of wanting to get to know you in any depth.  I have had people ask me how long we are intending to be be in Melbourne, and when I tell them, they start to look around and the conversation ends.  They don't bother to get to know us because we are not staying.

Thankfully we have found ways to combat this, and just love people.  We are continually amazed at how God bring friends into our life for a season.  Often we bump into each other in another time and place.  And when we are together we impact each others lives, deepening ties that are not bound by time, and distance.  We choose to sink our roots in deep, so that we can enjoy genuine and loving relationships, no matter how long we may be together.  We have treasured friends that we have not seen in 5 or more years.  It does not mean we love them any less and when we do see each other, we just take up where we left off. 

Hearts remember love.  Hearts remember the laughs, tears and good times shared. 

I look at Jesus and the three short years that he got to spend with his closest friends.  I look at Paul, who never got to stay still for long.  Each of these had a tremendous impact on the lives of their friends.  The effects were life changing. 

How sad it is that we guard our hearts so closely and not share them abundantly with those we meet.  Imagine if our openness and and outpouring of love, was given freely without fear of loss and hurt. 

I want to encourage you to embrace those around you, no matter how long they may be in your midst.  God puts us in places, and with people for a reason and a season.  Let us not pass by the opportunity to make new friends, mates that could be our company for the eternity to come.

Imagine

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. (1 Cor 2:9)

So I imagine...

 life free of illness and disease

forever with everyone that I  love

swimming in the river of life

dining with the King

dancing with the saints

and then I reread the verse

and I realise that God is speaking of the here and now...the Kingdom life

So I imagine...

living a life free of fear

seeing my children grow up to be men

...men after god's own heart

growing old and strong with my love, my husband

seeing lives transfromed by God.

And as I live and I see..then I continue to write.

Dining With The King

Mephibosheth-Exterminator of shame

In the bible Mephibosheth is the son of Jonathan, King Saul's son, Prince of Israel.  When Saul and Jonathan were killed in battle and David rose to assume the throne in Israel, it was customary to slay all of the heirs to the throne.  This meant that David had the ability to kill Jonathan's son Mephibosheth, to protect his rule. 

David and Jonathan were friends with bonds akin to brothers.  Their friendship was absolute, both loved God, and both were honourable men.  David swore to look after Jonathan's family in the event of his death, and David kept his oath, even at the protest of some of his advisors.  He accepted Mephibosheth into his family and he became one of King David's sons, eating and communing with the king.  When Mephibosheth was condemned to death by his circumstance, David saved him. I love this history because it shows the absolute grace and mercy that God has for his children. It is a foretaste of what Christ would do for us on the cross.

Does this sound familiar to you?

God made a promise many years ago now, to provide a way for everyone to be made right with him.  While we were condemned by our circumstances, weighing heavy under sin and lost, God invited us to his home.  He keeps his word, and makes a way for us to become son's and daughters of the King.  We are now able to eat at his table, and are reunited in relationship with Him.  There is no condemnation for those who know Jesus. Even though we were destined for death, God showed us mercy and grace, that is beyond our comprehension.  We won't ever understand it with our minds but we know it in our hearts.

Often when the story of Mephibosheth is spoken about, the focus in is on his disability and injury.  God has shown me that there is much more to glean from this story.  I love that Mephibosheth's name means 'the exterminator of shame'.  God took his shame, and brought him to dwell with the king, and live a life of great privilege.  He was redeemed by David.

How much greater is our redemption that we have the opportunity to be kids of the King; our God who's kingdom will never end!

OK, So I'm Weird

Brace yourself:  The pictures in this story may freak you out!

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.(Galatians 6:4)

Today as we cleaned the undergrowth from the garden, the boys and I witnessed the most amazing sight. First, I was shocked by what I saw.  I have seen wasps catch spiders for their nests before.  They stun them, keeping them alive and then fly them back to their mud nests, encasing them in the mud.  When their larvae hatches, they eat the live, stunned spiders that are in their home.  I have seen this many times before, but never with a spider this large. 

My initial shock was then transformed to a sense of awe.  We looked on as the wasp that is a third of the size of the spider, dragged it's catch across the grass, as it has too heavy to fly home.  It dragged the spider, walking backwards for at least three meters.

It then moved up and across our bitumen driveway, picking up the pace, as the grass no longer encumbered it.

It then moved up the fence, clenching tightly to it's prize, scaling the six foot fence.  It is in the picture you can really see the size of the spider.

Now as I am observing this, I imagine the wasps excitement. (Yes, I know God made me weird)

Wasp: 'Woohoo! When the kids wake up they are going to be so surprised.  I can't believe I have found them something so amazing.  It is so big I can hardly carry it.  I am so tired from lugging it, but the look on their little wasp faces will be worth it.  I can't wait to see them enjoy it.

Then God began to speak to me about the wasp and how diligent it was in it's work.  It allowed me to get close enough to take photos.  It allowed nothing to distract it from it's work.  It stopped only once, to survey the change in surface between the grass and bitumen. the wasp had been given a gift and now it was not going to let it go. 

This is how we need to be with God's tasks for us.  We need to not look to the right or the left.  We are not to glance back over our shoulder and see who is looking.  We are to be thankful and we need to be diligent, carrying out the work God has given us.

May our only satisfaction come from bringing a smile to God's face and seeing a job well done.

Strong in Joy

All week these words have been threading their way through he fabric of my heart. 

Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” (Neh 8:10)

Don’t be dejected and sad

thotabu
You are grieving 

I love that the Hebrew is just so direct and infinitely more colourful than our own language. Grieving really sums up the condition of my heart at late. I have been wondering where my joy had gone. I felt numb and somewhat like I had failed. God has been providing many opportunities for me to speak about our love of Him and the amazing ways He has touched our lives. And yet, I felt like in the last few months, that some of my fire had waned. To understand I will share an experience with you. In recent months I recorded a television segment that will go to air on Mother' Day. On the day of recording, I was incredible ill, but still went to record the program. You can read more about that here. Just before Christmas I received the finished program in the mail, edited and ready for the air. As I watched I could see how flat I looked and how I seemed to have no joy while I spoke. I was instantly ashamed. I was ashamed that this was my chance to share with the world, the amazing God that we know, and I could not convey it. It broke my heart, but this is what I saw. Don consoled me and told me that no one would notice and that God would use it mightily. But in my heart I was grieved, like I have somehow let God down.

Two nights ago Jesus spoke to me in a dream. He walked to me from behind and came to sit in front of me, He said,

'Do not forget that I was hated for what I spoke. Do not be surprised if people look upon you in disdain. What I see is beauty itself because of the honesty and obedience of your heart. I told you to go and you went. Leave the rest to me. How you appear on the day is exactly how you need to. Just watch me use this for my Father's glory. Be at peace.'

He smiled at me, lifting one corner of his mouth, and then I awoke.
 

for the joy of the Lord

ki chduth ieue
exhilaration of Yahweh

There is nothing quite like a visit from Jesus to bring joy. The word exhilaration is a much more descriptive word. The joy of the Lord is not something that I take from God. Knowing that I can bring a smile to God's countenance is what gives me strength. Having joy does not mean that I am always happy, but it does mean that I am content and affirmed by His love and joy.


is your strength 

moz.km
the stronghold of you 

I love these words because they reflect who holds the joy. God holds the joy, and in Him I find my stronghold. His joy is the stronghold of me. He is all about me, through me, and in me. His joy, is my hiding place and the place where I can stand on the fortress walls with my arms flung wide and declare my freedom. Now that is the true meaning of joy.

Mary and Me

I have read a book this week that has challenged me and encouraged me in so many ways.  The book is 5 novellas in the one book, all about different women of the bible.  The one that greatly spoke to me was about Mary, the mother of Jesus. 

Mary was given a great honour, but with that great honour came a life of unimaginable faith.  Mary was given a great promise from God.

“Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus.  He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David.  And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!”(Luke 1:29-33)

Mary was given a  choice, to agree to God's great plan or to remain in unbelief.

I too was given a great honour by God in bearing my children.  No, they are not Jesus, but I will train them up in His way.  I too was given a choice.  Do I choose life for Sam or do I choose not to believe, and go my own way. I too was asked to believe God's promise for Sam

'Sam will live and have life in abundance.  He will tell the nations of my healing power.'

Mary remained faithful to God even when it meant she would be rejected. Mary was scorned by those she loved, and the community around her, even some who were close to her for believing in God's promise to her.  They did not believe that she had been visited by an angel and carried the Son of God.

I too was condemned by those that thought Sam's life would count as naught.  That it would have been more merciful and less painful to let him die.

During her pregnancy and after Jesus birth Mary was miraculously protected by God and covered by His favour, because she lived in faith and blessing.

I too have seen and tasted of God's saving power and desire to live in the shadow of the Almighty.  There is no life outside of Him.

Mary watched in awe as Jesus taught those around Him about the Kingdom of God, from a young age.

I too marvel at how much God speaks to and reveals to my children.

Mary had to let her son go and do His Father's work. 

We too are called to surrender our children to God and He will guide all of their ways. 

Mary had to endure watching those around her mock and ridicule Jesus for His life and His ways.  She too was mocked and cast aside for her unwavering faith in God's promises.

I too have watched as friends and family have pulled away, as they try to comprehend with their minds the truth of God's promises.  God's promises are not discerned with the mind, they are understood by the heart. I know the words which they speak, but choose to believe God's promise for Sam.

Mary looked on as Jesus suffered and was killed, still not understanding the magnitude of God's unfolding plan.

I too must trust that despite Sam's surgeries and procedures that God's plan is perfect and that all things work together for the good of those that love Him.

Mary grieved for the pain she saw her Son endure, but also for the apparent dissolution of God's promise to her, as she witnessed Jesus die.

I too have grieved that the time of God's promise has passed.  My heart breaks, and then I am reminded that He works outside of time.

Mary's entire being rejoiced when she saw God's promise fulfilled and Jesus rose to save all men. She saw the fruit of God's plan and she praised God for His faithfulness.  There is no way she could have known that 2000 years on that he would still be drawing hearts to himself, giving eternal life to all who seek Him. 

I too will see the fruit of God's promises in our lives, not only for Sam but for all of our family.  God is faithful, I say this with all assurance. 

Yes when I get to meet Mary face to face and our eyes meet, I will smile with her and rejoice with her as we celebrate what God has done, from the heart of one blessed mother to another.

The book that I have recently read is called A Lineage of Grace, by Francine Rivers

Greater Love

As this year comes to a close I can truly say that my plans have not changed, as they are not mine but Gods.  I have set my goal as one not achievable this side of heaven, but one I will reach for none the less.  And so I am sure that my New Year's resolve will not change from one year to the next but instead grow in it's intensity, much like a consuming fire that cannot be quenched. 

I determine to continue pursuing God.

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40)

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.(John 13:34)

I have tasted the fruits of this life and would not choose to live in any other fashion, but the best that He has for me.

When I call out to God and follow Him daily with all of my heart, my soul, and my mind, then he breathes His love into me, to a point where I am overcome with the sweetness of the perfume.  And then when I am called to love my neighbor, it is effortless, as the perfume of heaven is that which envelopes my friends, family and neighbors, even the stranger on the street.  If I have been in the presence of the King, I reflect his radiance and this is what people will see and desire.  To love the unlovely becomes simple as I see them through God's eyes. 

'There is something different about that one', they might say.  'I can't put my finger on it, but she has something I want.' 

It is my desire that others might see Jesus in me, and taste of heaven upon the earth.  For I in myself am nothing.  To strive in my own strength will leave me worn and disillusioned.  Instead I choose to focus all of my effort on God who holds my days, and let Him live in me, that we may see many more faces for all eternity.

Yes, this year I continue one step at a time onward and upward reaching out for greater love, that the small world I live in may be given new life.

Life In Abundance

God has given us a promise for Sam and his life. The first part of that promise is John 10:10

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.   

His words to us were 'Sam will live and have life in abundance.  He will tell the nations about my healing power.'

In the last few days I have been prompted to study these words more closely and God has been speaking to me about what it means to have life in abundance.  The rich vibrancy of the original Greek language brings a whole new understanding of the words, and clarifies God's promise to us. 

I came that they may have life (egw hlqon ina zwhn ecwsin).

Imagine a thread that is woven throughout the fabric of time,  one that has no beginning and no end.  The thread has always been and always will be.  For a time we were/are separated from the thread of life because we have changed colour and have chosen to move in a different direction.  Sadly our thread will end while the thread of life continues on.  Then by grace alone we are invited back to the the thread of life, just when our end is in sight.  We are invited to be grafted back into the thread of life, to continue to weave a picture that is wrought by the hand of the Creator himself.

'ecwsin' is a present and active word, speaking of the life that Jesus gives.  It is not that Jesus came to give life for a season, He came to bring life that is eternal and perpetual, it will never end.  This passage not only brought hope to those whom heard the words with their own ears, but to every other soul who will accept the words and receive them.  How truly marvelous is the truth that is not bound by time.

And may have it abundantly (kai perisson ecwsin).
Water is a life giver.  I love to bask in the water and feel it swirl and refresh my body and soul.  I wonder if you have ever tried to hold water in your hands.  To bring your hands up through the water and watch as it slips through your fingers.  Our hands cannot possible contain all of the water that surrounds us. 

This is the picture God gives me of the word 'persisson', which means to have surplus and overflow.  The word that follows is 'ecwsin' which  reminds us again that the overflow is continual and will never end.

Life that God pours out into us cannot be contained in our hands but is held in our spirits and overflows to impact and touch the people around us.  God has told us that he has hidden eternity in the Human heart.
...He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end (Ecc 3:11).  This eternity is found in knowing Jesus and the more we know Him, the more abundant that life is. 

I watch my son Sam, and I see God's word fulfilled in his life and ours as well. It is my hearts desire that we would continue to live in the promise that God has given us. 

God spoke to me of this abundance of life when Sam was in ICU with his chest still open, I could clearly see his heart beat.  He reminded me that he chose to use the Doctors hands to work on his heart, but it was his spark of life that sustained Sam's heart and makes it beat.  It is his breath of life that ensures that Sam's days will go on, and it is His son Jesus that guarantees that our lives are eternal and full of abundance.

God continues to speak to me almost daily of his abundance.  To be overflowing with life we must spend time dwelling with the Life Giver.  There is no place that I would rather be. 

Reference: http://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/robertsons-word-pictures/john/john-10-10.html

The Land of Promise

It's time to live in the Promised Land.

The World Is Too Big

When the world suddenly seems much too big...

do not be afraid...

perhaps you just need a little change of perspective.

Love The Giver, More Than The Gift

 As the Christmas season of gift giving approaches, God is speaking to me about His gifts to us.  Not only has He given His son for us, He has gifted us with faith, hope, love and eternal life with Him in His Kingdom.  As if that isn't lavish enough He also gives us gifts daily, blessings that fall upon our path, people that we meet, answers to prayer, encouragement and favour.  Another gift that God pours out abundantly upon us are His miracles, and that is what I want to talk with you about today.

miracle n. An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God.

Miracles are an everyday part of life for our family.  There is no such things as big miracles and small miracles in God's Kingdom, if God does something in your life by His hand, then you have received a miracle.  We like to rate gifts according to size don't we?  We all seem to want the biggest gift under the Christmas tree.  Thankfully we have learned that size is not relative to blessing in God's Kingdom.  We repeatedly see God make a way when there seems to be no way, and I am so thankful for his gifts to us, because I know we cannot live this life without Him.

Sadly, I confess, there was  time when I loved the gift more than I did the giver.  I would look for God's miracles everywhere.  Searching everywhere for Him to perform miracles and wonders, signs that would set the world back on their heels, especially when it came to our son Sam.  There was a time when every time I spoke to God, the words that were always on the tip of my tongue were about Sam's healing.  I could not hide it, every time I went to Him in prayer, my heart betrayed my true thoughts and intentions.  I wanted to love God more than what He could give me, but I struggled with my own selfish desire to see my son live a 'normal' healthy life.

At one point God spoke and said: 

When you go to the marriage bed with your husband, do not go with other things in your heart and your head.  You must go there only to focus on showing your love for him.  So it must be with us.  Come and dwell with me because you love me and all of these other things shall be added to you.

I knew that what I was doing was wrong and I so I repented, focused on God and laid aside my own wants and needs in order just to love Him more. I read psalms and sang songs that spoke only to Him, not of my own desires.  I asked Him to help me love Him more than His gifts.  The scripture that God gave me still rings daily in my heart and on my lips:

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.(Matthew 6:33)

And so now when we spend time enjoying each others company, I go with eyes and a heart only for my God.  I come to Him as one intoxicated by His presence, and I know I can trust Him with my desires. I implore you today to not make the same mistake as I did.  Do not put you own desires at any point above your love for God.  For He is above all things.  Love His miracles, yes, but always, always, always love Him more.

Forgive Yourself

Most of us have learned the lesson of forgiving others.  There are times we have been hurt, offended, let down and condemned and we have had to be able to forgive those who have wronged us, and give them back to God.  It is clear in the bible that if we do not forgive others, then neither will be be forgiven by God.

What I want to speak about today is much more sinister.  It stops us from spending time with God, and it is the devils number one tool against mothers.  It is called guilt.

You know of what I speak. I hear the nagging whispers condemning me, they tell me,

'You don't spend enough time with your husband, you don't spend enough time with God, you need to do more for your children, you are not as appealing since you have had children, you don't exercise enough, you don't spend your time wisely, you don't write as well as your peers, you don't pray enough, you can't rest your home isn't clean.'

I want to remind you today that if the whispers you hear are putting you down and condemning you, they are not the whispers of your Saviour.  God will not condemn you.  God will speak and ask you to change parts of your life.  He may say,

'Your husband desires you so much and he needs you, I would love to talk with you I am here anytime, look at the smile on your son's face as you play with him, your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, exercise will help you clear your mind and strengthen your body, invest you time in Me and I will use it for my glory, your writing glorifies me and I am pleased with you, I long to hear your voice in prayer, work a little but then rest and listen to me'.

Firstly we must stop listening to the lies of the enemy.  Secondly we need to forgive ourselves before we can go to God and ask for forgiveness.  We need to let go of the guilt we carry around in our spirits.  It is a roadblock that stops us form being intimate with God.  It also allows the enemy to have a foothold in our hearts.  We must forgive ourselves, ask for God's forgiveness and then live life guilt free, in truth and love.  For we must remember:

Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.(1 John 3:20)

As God told me today, I encourage you:

You will never be any more beautiful to me than you are at this moment.  This moment when you come before me guilt free, washed clean by the blood of my Son.  Do not conform your mind to the lies of this world, listen for my voice as it beckons and calls with great love and affirmation.  I am a  God of love words.  Even when I correct I do it in love.  Be at peace and come sit by me, I have much to share with you.  There must be nothing between us, guilt cannot stand in the presence of my perfect love.

Time To Take A Dip

I have tasted life without God.  It is like sitting in a  rock paddling pool and enjoying the cool of the water, but there is no room to be free and swim. It is not deep enough to put your head under the water and feel the freshness on your face.  But it is all you know, and you are comfortable in your little pool, all the while wondering if there is anything better.  You hear rumours of others saying that they have splashed in rivers and some crazy religious nuts even telling you that they have plunged and basked in oceans.  But life is too busy, to get carried away with rumours and fairy tales.  And then one day you become frustrated with your pool, the thoughts of what others have said might be true, inspire you to look over the rock wall that has blocked your view... and your breath is taken away, as you behold the endless sea before your eyes.  For so long, it had been blocked from your view by the wall separating you.  And now you know the truth, and you can't go back to the pool.  You know the ocean is real and is within your reach.  And although it is daunting, you edge your way out to the sandy breakers and wade out into the depths.  As you dive beneath the emerald green waters, you wonder why you spent so many years in the paddling pool when you could have been basking in the open sea.  You have been transformed and you know your life will never be the same again. As you emerge from under the surface and draw breath, it is like you have never truly breathed before.  You have become a new creation, you have a new home and a new outlook on life.

Want to come and swim in the depths of the ocean with me?

I know a God...

who paints the sky with the sweep of his hand and the breath of his mouth, to delight me and take my breath away.

I know a God...

who has felt every emotion that I have ever had to endure and comforts me in the very depths of my spirit.

I know a God...

who never leaves me, and laughs and cries with me in every season. He truly has the most profound sense of humour.

I know a God...

who fights for me every inch of the way. He goes before me each day and clears the path by the Word of his mouth.

I know a God..

who sees me when I raise my voice at my children and when I fail to help others in need. And he still loves me anyway.

I know a God..

who disciplines me when I am out of line, and does it with such authority and love, that I am left undone by his grace.

I know a God..

who takes my lack of anything and turns into into a feast for the glory of His Kingdom.

I know a God...

who strokes my face while I sleep and speaks to me in my dreams. He shares his heart with me like the closest of lovers.

I know a God..

who is not afraid of my emotions and hears both my praise and prayer with a compassionate heart. His grace and mercy never end.

I know a God...

who is transforming me day by day to live and dance in a Kingdom of light. A Kingdom where there is no sickness, disease or death and where He will reign forever. 

The Blessing of Discouragement

It may seem like a strange title, but the more I have talked to God about it, the more I am convinced.

We have had our fair share of discouragement this week, not only in our own family, but also in those surrounding us.  The battle of the mind and will, has been intense and as we have endured this may times before, we know we have to dig our heels in, praise God, and keep walking.

I won't go into details, but there has been discouragement, on quite a number of fronts. We have learned and are still learning that discouragement is a tool God allows to be used, in order to draw us back into His arms.  It may not be that you have stepped out of them, but He just wants to draw you in all the more closer for a season.  Discouragement is almost like a magnet in nature.  Either it will draw you back to God and you will cleave to Him, or if the poles are reversed, you will be repelled and run in the opposite direction.  I can look back now and thank God for times of discouragement, because in them we have learned not to run, but to embrace.  So the reality is for us, that discouragement is a blessing.  Because in reality we know there is no other place we want to be but in His arms, regardless of what is happening around us.  

So instead of 

complaining...we praise

instead of

running...we embrace

instead of 

giving up...we push on

instead of 

withdrawing...we reach out

instead of 

hiding...we shine.

Just Stop Swimming.

For the last two weeks, as we head off to bed, Sam has been praying one thing.

'Desus, pease fix Mummy. Ame....n'

It was only last night that God finally gave me the revelation of what that meant.  Since relocating to Victoria, we have been very busy, tired, and had little time spare.  We have been swimming, and swimming and do not seem to be able to get to surface to catch a breath.  That kind of swimming is tiring!

I have been striving to get things done each day, and while it is good to have goals, I have been seeking fulfillment in the achievement of my goals, instead of seeking the One that fills me. God knows what He has placed before us, He knows what we are going through. He alone knows the times for everything, so once again, I need to let it all go and trust Him.  I need to float along with with river.  It is easier said than done, but is made easier by this:

God uses the lips of my son, to tell me, that he misses me playing with him, that I am not the Mummy he is used to being with, and, he wants God to fix his Mummy and make her whole again.

So, instead of swimming today, I choose to float, and I ask your help to carry me along the river.  Your prayers are what help propel us forward, so here are a few of the mountains that need moving:

• Don has a doctors appointment today with the Cardiologist, to sort out his CASA medical once and for all, so he can fly solo.
• For Sam to start gaining weight again,as it has slowed over the move interstate.
• For all to go well with registering our car in VIC next week.
• To help me get over needing a routine-it just isn't possible at the moment.
• I want to write and I need to write, the words are flowing so well, but there is little time.

The Substance of Faith

What is faith?  It is the very nature of God.  Faith is the Word of God.  It is the personal inward flow of divine favour, which moves in every fiber of our being until our whole nature is so quickened that we live by faith, we move by faith, and we are going to be caught up into glory by faith!  Faith is the glorious knowledge of a personal presence within you, changing you you from strength to strength, from glory to glory, until you get to the place where you walk with God, and God think and speaks through you by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Oh, it is grand! Oh, it is glorious! (Smith Wigglesworth, taken from the Smith Wigglesworth Devotional 1999)

Today I am so thankful for the gift of faith; God living in me, changing me day by day to be more like Jesus.  When I look back at my walk in faith, I can see from where I have come.  It is not like that at the present, we are often unable to see how present circumstances in our lives are of any benefit to us, or God.  But we must trust that He knows.  And it is the eternity to come, that we will stand holding hands with Jesus, and look back at how His hand was upon us in every season.
He speaks to my heart today, and whispers so much love, so much encouragement:

'Keep going my love, one step in front of the other, my presence will change not only you, but also the hearts of others.  It's all about faith, it's all about trust, and I know your heart. '

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`♥ Nicole

A Heartfelt Response

In response to a beautiful woman who reads my blog, this post has been inspired. This is for you N xx

It was God who led me to the decision to home school Jack, and then it was God who led me to the decision to enroll Jack in school. 

I think that we put too much pressure on ourselves to have to provide the best we can for our children.  We set impossibly high standards for our selves and all the while God is calling-'give them back to me'.  When God asked me to home school Jack we lived two hundred meters from the local primary school; I was perplexed, but He was very persistent.  Looking back now I can see it was best, because we were going to be moving mid year and this was better for his personality and character.  We were going to have enough change in our life, and God knew what was coming.  There was no way I could have known what this year held for us as a family-but God does. 

As we moved down here to start a new chapter together, God started speaking to me about sending Jack to primary school.  I was confused at first, because of my on ideas.  I had the idea in my head, that you either sent your children to school, or you were a home schooling family.  God has different ideas.  And thankfully His ways are well above my own. I have learned not to argue with God, as I can't see our future.  As far as I know, we are going to be spending the next 18 months here in Yarra Glen.  I don't know what God has in store for us while we are here.  Perhaps I will be too busy doing other things for God.  Perhaps there is something that he wants each of us to learn through this time.  Perhaps he wants Sam and I to have some mummy and son time.  Perhaps God wants me to focus on writing for Him.  I am still seeking Him each day about his plans for us.

I think Jack's school decisions are a reflection of our everyday walk with God.  He is the first One and the last One that I go to for advice.  I read His word daily, and as I do He speaks to me.  As I wash the dishes, He whispers words into my heart.  He confirms what he speaks, by opening doors, and sending people, and providing tokens of affirmation, just at the right time.  Living in the way of His Spirit, is something that I still learn, but something I cannot do without.  God has given us a unique path, one fraught with many perilous, and challenging obstacles.  He alone holds the map, and so I find my help and my contentment in Him, in ALL things.

If you are looking for an answer, if you are carrying a burden, remember that He ALONE holds the map to your future.  It is a plan full of adventure, mercy and love.  Let him navigate you daily (more frequently if needed) so that his perfect will may be seen in your life.  I leave you with this brilliant passage from the pen of Smith Wigglesworth (a word that God gave me just for this post):

'Are you ready to be so in God's plan that you will feel God's hand upon you?  You will know that He has chosen you, so you might be a firstfruit unto God.  Are you ready for the Lord to have His choice, so that His will may sweep though your very nature, and so that you may know as you have never known before this day of the visitation between you and him?'

O Yeah, Lord, we are ready!

Something is Missing

Each one of us has a deep seated need to be happy.  It is not a want, but a need.  People wish us a 'Happy Birthday', 'Happy New Year', 'Happy Christmas', and 'Happy Easter'.  We smile at each other to 'cheer each other up', we tell jokes to make others laugh and we give gifts to see joy in the face of another.  Each of these gestures bring a small glimpse of joy, happiness and peace, and they are wonderful things to do for another. We seek joy in movies, music, relationships, sex, food, and dare I say it even work, our car, and our home.
The problem with seeking joy in this way, is that it lasts only a short time and then it is gone.  So we seek it out more and more to maintain our state of happiness, we work more,  we play more, we spend more, all in the hope of filling the gaping hole that is in each of us, a hole that is bottomless, and can only be filled by one thing.

God created us to be filled with himself.  He created us with a God shaped hole in our hearts, that can only be filled by him.  He is the only one equipped to meet our need to be happy.  When I speak of happiness, I don't mean a constantly laughing, hilarious kind of happy.  I mean a well known sense of completeness, joy in any circumstance and a peace that cannot be felt any other way.  His joy remains even in the darkest of places, in your day to day life, and in the mountain top experiences too.  The gaping hole left in each of us when we were separated from God in the Garden of Eden, must be filled by God, so that all of the other things we do in this life, the things we enjoy, do not consume us.  Otherwise we become addicted to to our hobbies, activities and experiences, as we try in our own strength to fill the bottomless pit of happiness. 

I liken this to when you go and do your grocery shopping.  I always make sure I eat something before I go grocery shopping, otherwise I buy what I don't need, and what I would like to eat at that moment.  I end up spending much more than I anticipated because I am hungry.  So it is with happiness...

If you live life without filling the God shaped hole in your heart, you will find the cost will be more than you can afford.