Congenital Heart Disease does that to a family.
Most families have dreams for their kids; to see them grow up into young men and women, fall in love, get married and have a family of their own. My dreams have not lingered there, They have visited occasionally. Kind of like popping your head around the corner of a door and then retreating before anyone notices. That has been the extent of my dreams for our families long term future. Because as a heart Mum I have learned to live in the moment, relishing each day. Not taking anything for granted, making big deals out of every milestone because they are so much more precious to me, knowing that God enabled us to reach them. In essence we live a life of gratitude, not making plans anymore than about a week in advance because so often those plans fall in a heap.
Being on a church roster is scary for me, working is scary for me, committing to being somewhere weekly is scary to me. Because so often I have to let others down to be with my family when they need me. And often they have due to illness.
But lately I have been stretching my tired wings. Daring to venture into greater commitments with work, church and friends. I have been letting myself dream a little more about our marriage and future, about my boy's futures and speaking words of great promise over all of us. Through God enabling I have begun to see through the haze of CHD and see increasing glimpses of God's promise of life in abundance for our family.
For so long I have been holding these precious dreams in my hand and protecting them like a costly jewel.
Now I see they are alive and ready to take flight, like a dove being released to find it's way home; God's promises to not return to Him unfulfilled.