Do you see how our children suffer Lord?
Do you see the pain in his eyes, and the fear that grips him, when he sees yet another syringe?
Do you see the look of absolute helplessness in his eyes, as I plead with him to sit still just for a moment and the pain will be gone soon?
Do you hear his laboured breathing, his eyes pleading with me to help him, just get one more breath?
Do you see my heart ache when I cannot help him?
Do you see him longing to run with the other kids, and not grow weary?
Can you feel the painful lump in my throat, and the tears stinging the back of my eyes, as I try to be strong for his sake?
Do you hear me, when I want to scream, but I don't because I am in the middle of a crowded place, so every fiber of my being shakes with distress and anger?
Yes, I see how MY children suffer.
Do you see the courage in your son's eyes, even when he has to endure another procedure?
Do you see the trust in him, when he resigns to let the doctors touch him, even when every part of him wants to get up and run?
Do you see me standing and holding his other hand, while his breathing labours and your heart breaks?
Do you see him content in himself even with his physical limitations, and how he draws the attention of the others in a room with his endearing and steadfast spirit?
Do you feel my heart break along with yours? Do you feel my arms around you, strengthening you in every situation?
Do you hear me when I whisper quiet words to your heart in the midst of your anger, and how my unconditional love melts away every argument you bring?
Yes Lord, I know all of these things.
Take the fear of the future from me Lord, I cannot handle the thought of any more pain. You have promised his healing, and so to you I turn my eyes and, in You I choose to place my hope.
If someone you love is suffering, Jesus knows and you are not alone.
PS. Sam and the rest of our family are well. I just wanted to share this discussion that I had with God today, to encourage anyone else who may face an ongoing battle. Even on days when the physical pain is not so present, my heart aches at times, looking at the path we are walking. Thankfully, Jesus knows, he suffered in my place, and is more than equipped to handle my feelings. He waits to hear yours as well.