I enjoy speaking on the radio, probably a throw back to when I used to teach school of the air. One day I would love to have the opportunity to receive questions or comments from listeners.
I love speaking to groups, large and small, seeing their tears and smiles of triumph, as they empathise with us.
Book signings give a great opportunity to be able to share one on one with people and also allows them to share their story with you.
Today I found out that Word Bookstores, in their infinite wisdom, have decided not to go ahead with in-store book signings any longer. Whether this is a once off decision or a blanket affect, will be seen in time.
So today I was hit with conflicting feelings:
Rejection-do I take this personally? I am sure if I was a big name American author there would not be a problem. They do not value my work. They do not value our journey.
or
Rationalisation- They are a business, they care about making money. The problem is I was trying to help them sell books, so this makes no sense. It was not costing them anything to have me in-store, so it is not about that at all. It actually costs me in time and money to be there.
or
Realisation -This book journey is not about me, or bookstores. It is about encouraging people and ministering to them with God's love. Is is about believing that God has removed this opportunity for reasons currently beyond my sight, and I love him enough to trust Him. I am not out to make a name for myself, only give honour to His.
And so I will pick myself up from this current state of confusion, lift my eyes to him, and know he has better things in the future.
God please give me the courage to keep putting myself on the front lines for you. You took all of the lashes, the shame and the death for me, let me endure this with your grace.
6 comments:
It is such a battle of the mind. Love how you worked through your thoughts and share them with us.
Oh Nicole, I'm sorry to hear that. Best not to take it personally, especially where WORD is concerned. I've grappled with bruised feeling issues with them over the last few months. Especially when they included 3 other Aussie fiction authors in a recent catalogue but seem to prefer ignoring me, regardless of my most friendly attempts to convince them to promote me more. My feelings were the same as you expressed in this blog. The other books are great but I would've hoped they'd like mine too. I finally decided to simply drop the issue.
"Sam's Heart" is a great book. The staff at WORD don't even know us. Let's not worry.
Reading over my comment, I hope it doesn't sound like sour grapes. The thing is, I'd been trying to touch base with them for months before this catalogue issue, driving down especially, trying to speak to their buyers etc. I guess the bottom line is that, like you, I'm only human. We get frustrated but it helps grow our characters.
Thanks Michelle. Hope you keep on plodding through your valley too :)
Hugs Paula. I know how it feels. thankfully we know God who is far above feelings. We know that is is in His eyes we are valued. Too many times I make the mistake of looking to men and women for approval. I do not need their approval, I have already been marked by God himself. I know those who read Sam's Heart will be encouraged, and that is enough for me. x
When one door closes, another will open... I know God has great things in store for the amazing Watson family! He has your steps ordered and He will take you where you need to go.
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