I haven't posted recently, because I haven't felt like I had anything inspiring to share. Instead I will just share what is going on in our somewhat lively day to day adventures.
True to my usual form I have been trying to plan everything, make lists, and find a new home in a new state, all of which have fallen flat on their face. At every turn God keeps reminding me that I have to let go, lay it all at his feet and wait. I am not good at waiting. I am trying to learn, but God knows I am slow to learn. Trying to find a home interstate is almost impossible,as rental properties in Victoria need to be viewed before they can be rented. So while I was desperately trying to find a way around that, God provided a few weeks on campus at the College at the student accommodation, that we will need to pay for, but it will provide opportunity for us to find a home. One step at a time...you think I would know the rhythm of his pace by now, and still I try to run ahead and do it my own way. I still have this inbuilt desire to provide stability and a smooth transition for my family which I have to continually relinquish to God. It is not a simple and easy process but something that must be done many times a day. There's a whole lot of repenting going on at the moment. God is pruning away the dead wood, preparing for the new growth in the new season.
The next thing I do is try and plan costs for everything, and as I do I become increasingly frustrated because it doesn't balance out. I try to see into the future and think about all of the costs and make sure we have enough to cover them. We don't. So then I have to give it all back to God and tell him I can't do it. I need him to be our provision on this path he has us walking. Empathise with me if you will. There is at least one budgeter in every family, and God does want us to prepare somewhat, but He does not want us to say'
...“Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit." How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. (James 4:13-14)
I cannot plan ahead for what I cannot see. We will be in Melbourne 18 months or so, and then who knows where. I can't plan for that, and God doesn't want me too. Already he is reminding me that he is in control. We didn't have enough money to complete the move to Melbourne, so God had someone remind me that we can stop the payments on our home, and use that mortgage money now, and we also got a bonus that we weren't expecting. God is our provider. This is what I struggle with at the moment.
God has reminded me that it is my job to be a good mummy on the ground now, not to worry about the future. It is my job to make sure my little boys are OK with this move, that my husband feels supported and that the house is ready to go to it's new owners.
And so the scripture God gave me, his promise, keeps repeating in my head about every 10 minutes:
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.(Matthew 6:33)
Pruning hurts but already I feel renewed and more prepared to face this new adventure. I recognize the strong and firm hands of my God, as he gently but resolutely cuts away the dead wood. It reminds me that he is changing me from day to day into the likeness of Jesus, so all is well with my soul.
If you would like to hear more about the calling that Don and I are embarking on read the post - The Calling