Sunday, March 27, 2011

I've Lost My Way

These poems/verse/prayers that I write are a  part of my personal time with God.  They are simply sharing a little bit of my heart for God with you.  I only share them when he asks.  This post is a little longer than most.  So get comfy and settle in...

I've Lost My Way
By Nicole Watson

I remember days when each moment was a treasure,
Times when play and laughter, trouble and tears all held their own moment in time,
Not hurried, and swept and under the rug in my haste to move on.
Hot sunny days, crunchy grass, sprinklers filling the air with aqua haze,
Ice cream dribbling down my chin, stuck on my nose, laughter oh so sweet on the end of my tongue,
Riding barefoot on long dusty gravel roads, hair flying high in the breeze, scorching my face, I could fly, I could fly!
Rain racing upon the windows of the car, faster, faster, drops race and then out of sight, such delight,
Singing out loud to every song, I knew them all, so why not share, even if no one else in the car wanted to hear. 
Birthdays filled with wonder and anticipation, meaningful expectation, gazing in awe upon cake prepared with love. Sweet, sugary love from the heart of my mother.
All of these moments treasured like rolling a sweet candy around on your tongue, ensuring you get the whole flavour.

Too often today, I chew my candy.  Quickly tasted, quickly forgotten it seems.
When did I lose the ability to taste and savour this life?  Life that is so rich and beautiful filled with every good thing from heaven above?  When did I stop being thankful for each small thing, all now lost in a tangle of seemingly overwhelming circumstance. 
God showers his gifts upon us in a continual stream, beauty and meaning ever increasing.  It seems I have become numb under the constant stream of favour that flows from the throne of heaven itself.
When did I suddenly eat without savouring every bite, greedily consuming without reflection.

When did my body become imperfect, flawed it seems.
I remember being proud of my strong capable body, legs that could peddle fast, arms that could hug long and hard, hair that hung long down my back despite the tangles. 
Keep you eyes on Me…
When did I lose the ability to enjoy my family, friends, and all of life’s celebrations, all so busy, all so consumed with getting on to the next thing, no time to wait.
I remember when their was no one more important than family, complete trust, no hurt that could not be covered by forgiveness and kisses.  Celebrations were not a chore, a bore, a cover up for past wrongs and missed time.
Keep your eyes on Me…
When did I become so busy, must keep moving, don’t sit down, fit more in, still more to do yet.
Stop!  I have had enough already.  Where am I?  I have lost my way.  What is going on here?

Keep your eyes on Me, Keep your mind on Me, keep your heart with Me, the Keeper of your spirit, the Keeper of your soul, all will be well,  your life will be whole.

Oh!  The mercy of God is so great!  Forgive me…

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus-the only word that cover all wrongs.

Now my eyes are fixed on His face, I resolve to make each day full of purpose, savouring the most insignificant moments.  Moments filled with the twinkling of eyes and heart warming melodies of laughter. 
Moments filled with grieving tears and soul aching pain.
Moments now captured in time because I refuse to let them rush past unnoticed, unvalued, unloved.
Moments of awe when heaven reaches down and touches earth, that would have been lost except that my eyes have been opened.
So many of these lost moments, lost in the sea of memories, created by a world that does not value time or care to remember. 

How much more beautiful are gifts, when viewed through heavenly eyes.
Dazzling, blinding, each moment encased in beautiful love that cascades from the heavens. 
Moments like watching my son sleep, breathing soundly and deeply, I smell his warm sweet breath and I praise Him. 
Singing out loud at the top of my voice so He can hear me in heaven, with such joy and abandonment that I forget the neighbours can hear. 
Chase, me Mum!  Tickle me Mum!  Racing through the house, excitement and laughter filling the air, a pleasing aroma to God’s heart.
Inviting my friends to visit despite the mess, welcoming them into a home where hearts matter before the house.
Smelling the fresh rain upon the dusty ground and breathing in deeply, receiving the gift of a rainbow from God’s heart to mine.
I have found the way and it is not mine, but God’s.  Life in all of its rugged beauty and abundance comes from Him, the Creator of Gifts, the Creator of the Way, the Creator of Life.
I have finally found the way… time to start living each moment.

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