Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Rip Tide


The last month it seems we have been caught in a tide that has dragged us out to sea.  We seem to be floundering in the water, our arms weary from the constant treading. 

Don has failed his flight exam for his commercial pilot's license for the second time today.  I just want to cry really.  For him, for myself, for our weariness and lack of hope.  There seems to have settled upon me a sense of despondency, enlarged by the fact that we are far from home and and the comfort of familiar family and friends.  I am tired of the fight, and Don must be far beyond that.  I have watched him labour and toil for the last 7 months with little rest, all the while looking for the silver lining.  He is exerting his best and yet, it is thrown back in his face continually that it is not good enough.  And yet he remains, plodding along, while I struggle at home to wrestle with God and his appointment to this calling, when there seems to be very little breakthrough.  Does God see how we struggle?  Yes, He most certainly does and be bears it with us.  Does He see that I can't make our finances stretch any further?  Yes, He certainly does and He supplies.  Does He still want us here?  Yes, He certainly does and reminds us again and again.

I struggle to write the new book about God's promises, because we battle to live in their truth each day, and are weary for a break from the constant onslaught.  Who am I, I wonder to pretend to tell others to live in God's promises if I am of so little faith?  Oh God, where is my faith! It is like it has been robbed from me while I have slept.  And yet, still I stand.  I stand because He gives me strength, I can own no portion of it.  Please pray for us and help us fight in the spirit.  Our enemy looms large but we know who is victorious. 

Don is on his way home after his defeat today.  May God give us both the strength to keep going. 

So again, I raise my head and look to the battle front, raise my shield, and thrust my sword high. 'CHARGE'

9 comments:

Anusha said...

O Nicole! I am so sorry! I really am. Sometimes the battle is too hard isn't it? But don't forget that it's only a little war that's on right now and that YOU HAVE ALREADY WON THE WAR! The battle belong to the Lord.

Hang in there my friend. Sending much love and prayers and asking God to fill you with His encouragement and His comfort. He knows. He cares. And He will see you both through this time. Blessings to Don and you, Jack and Sam. You have done well and you will continue to do so. Hugs. xo
Anusha xo

Jo Wanmer said...

Oh Nicole. I'd love to be able to hug you and minister Gods hope. Im sure all this preparation and training for the call of God that is on your life. I hate this verse but yet it is comforting. Endure hardship as discipline God is treating you as Sons. I have always read discipline as punishment but realised it is training. There is no other way to be prepared. I'll pray that you'll know the peace of God. I bless you. May He bring you into your full destiny. Xx

Footprints Australia said...

Oh wow, Nicole I am absolutely in the same place at the moment spiritually due to a certain situation in our lives (financial). I wrote a "rant" about it yesterday ... will probably put it in the new Footprints FOCUS ezine ... but will edit out some of the details as it is intensely personal.

Big hugs to you honey xxx

Rose Dee said...

CHARGE indeed, my friend. But we are behind you and the Lord is in front - leading the way. He will give you what you need. Ask - and receive. Prays with you and your beautiful family. xxxooo

Penny said...

It is exactly those that have found themselves floundering yet held in God's promises who are the ones to write such a book, Nicole. May your family feel the Lord's blessing tonight.

Stephanie Williams said...

Standing with you in the charge! ~SW

christineturner5 said...

Ahh, Nicole I feel your heartache for I too was feeling that same way just a little while ago. It was so hard for me to keep the faith going when I was just totally exhausted, physically and mentally, as I had struggled with pain for so long. It is only now on the other side that I have realized and can now say .... take heart my dear friend that our Lord God is there for you and is carrying you and your family, through your trials and tribulations. You do not have to stand strong all the time as he is there standing for you during those hard times. I pray God gives you peace and strength to carry on.

With much Love
Christine xo

Nina said...

(hugs) to you Nicole and many prayers ... even through this hard trial, your faith and love for God and your beautiful heart continue to shine through, as a testament to others. What an inspiration you are! Keep on keeping on, the battle will be won. Lots of love and prayers. xx

Nicole Watson said...

Thank you kind friends for your word of encouragement and love. You prayers are keeping me going today. I am spending time with my God and we are sorting things out, (while I look after the boys, clean the house and do some sewing). Thankfully, he is my constant companion. xx Nicole

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...