Time For A Rant

Today I read an article which chilled me to the core.  The article discusses the possibility of post term abortion, yes killing a baby after it is born.  This is actually being considered/discussed/has crossed the mind of, those who inform and influence our politicians and country's leaders.  Read the article here.

This is insanity itself!  Here we are living at a time and in a nation that strives to have a family through IVF and similar programs.  A country which has a dilapidated and immensely difficult adoption system.  A country which has legalised the killing of children in the womb, and now it is being debated that we should be able to take the life of a new born babe. 

If you have baby pictures, go and find one of them.  Look closely at your young self and ask your self this question, 'Who looked after me?  Who nourished me?  Who kept me warm?  Who loved me?' 

You see we were all babies once.  I love the quote from Ronald Reagan that states, 'I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born.'

The discussions in this article are evil in themsleves.  History repeats itself over and over.  All throughout time babies have bore the brunt of our our selfish wants and desires.  In this age, when we consider ourselves so enlighted and knowledgeable, it seems apparent to me that men of power have lost their hearts. The seeds of pride arrogance and self estimation are now in bloom, threatening to choke all morality out of the society in which we now live.  I am beyond tired of hearing truths twisted and broken for the sake of selfish motives. 

And here in Australia, the land of the brave and free, we have become mere shadows of our once strong and courageous settlers, men and women, who struggled and toiled to make this land great under God.  In settler days nearly every family lost loved ones, especially babies to sickness and disease.  How ashamed they would be of us, taking the lives of our own little ones.  Who will now speak for our children, who are being slain and then thrown away as 'medical waste'?

How long suffering is our God that he has mercy, when we should be struck down for our complacency.  How His heart must break as His treasured  babies, discarded for the sake of our own needs.  How many arms ache in our communities for the love of a child?  How many wombs lay barren, when parents hearts ache for the want of seeing a little one smile?

Please don't let an article pass your sight, a conversation pass you ears, a situation pass your hands without praying and then responding.  Your little prayer will move mountains and your little gesture, will change a life, maybe one that is yet to be, or maybe...

someone that you love.

More Than Dreams

Jack will be six in May.  His new adventures at school have seen him grow in ways that have surprised even me.  He has such a capacity for love and pours it out wherever he goes.  He is celebrating the fact that God has sent him a friend that 'knows Jesus'.  He loves to read and has got very excited recently about writing.  The other night at church, he decided to copy from the bible and copies sentences and then gets us to read them.  He was doing it again this morning before he went to school.  He does it with other books at times too.  God seems to have given him a real love for the Word.  Last night he shared with me that Jesus came to him again and showed him 'the brightness of heaven'.

'It shined Mum like gold and silver, and was so bright I couldn't tell.  Is it gold or silver Mum?'

'I don't know mate, I haven't been there. But you let me know when you find out ok?' 

'I wonder if it is white gold, the bible says the streets are made of gold. Jesus says, He has a house for me'

Wondrous silence

'He sure does Jack, he sure does.'

Sam is now conversating along with us.  He LOVES Kinder and counts the sleeps down.  He and I have a great time together at home cleaning, playing, cooking, sewing and whatever else we need to do. He is a story teller and tells us some of the most amazing tales.  He tells me stories of Jesus and the angels. He seems to be reasoning and learning truth as he speaks his stories.  For example

'Yast night, I sawed angels and they had BIG wings yike birds.  And there was a black crow bird and they chased him.  Then Jesus came and the angels flew round and yelled out songs. I was scared so I said 'Jesus said GO AWAY!' But it was ok, they were not baddies.  they were goodies, but they still looked big and a bit scary.'

'Wow, I think I would have been scared too.  But was everything OK in the end?'

'Yep.'

I share these things to encourage you and increase your faith.  I do not say them to brag and be boastful.  My boys are still prone to disobedience and struggles,  They are not perfect and I will not pretend them to be.  God loves them anyway.  When I see how God teaches and loves my kids, it shows me how much he loves them and holds their future in His hands.  I hope that reading it encourages you also, in your own relationship with Jesus.

God is certainly not silent when we seek Him.  No matter how old we are.

God Loves Me Anyway

I love that I am human.  I love that I feel and love and hurt.  I love that God made me in his image and loves me regardless of my continual blunders.  I love that He is still making me perfect and that I am nowhere near it yet.  Because in all of my brokenness, I can see His hand at work, Holy Spirit making changes to help me, even when it hurts. 

Boy, has my faith been tested recently.  Especially in regard to our calling to MAF.  (See more about that here and then here.)

Sometime you are just in that place where your mind has had enough, your body quakes and your heart melts likes molten wax.  I guess that is how I have felt like that for the last 4 days. Inwardly and quietly I have been crying out to God.  I have dared to think questions such as:

Are we in the right place?

Is this a fight, or is this God closing doors and us breaking them down, in misdirected fervour?

Can we just run away? Oh let me run away! 

Why are you so quiet? I can barely hear your voice above all that clamours for our attention.

Psalm 77 has been my prayer now for the last week.

and within me Holy Spirit whispers...

You know the answers, you don't even need to voice these questions.

Rest in the lap of your Father and let Him work it all out. 

If you could just see the battle being waged on your behalf you would be overwhelmed and in awe of His love for you.

Keep holding on...

Keep holding on...

Keep holding on...


Well God is silent no longer!

And now His words blow like a mighty wind, flaming the smouldering embers deep within my heart. God is fanning the flame, fighting the fight, clearing my mind, healing my heart and bringing new strength to my bones.

How un-real life was without Him.  I can barely remember what I was like before I knew the love of God.

Yes, we are in the right place, and we are fighting a great battle because God has great things planned.  I want you to know that your prayers and mine have been heard and that God is moving to turn the tide.  His promises will be fulfilled.  God always keeps His word.

The Rip Tide

The last month it seems we have been caught in a tide that has dragged us out to sea.  We seem to be floundering in the water, our arms weary from the constant treading. 

Don has failed his flight exam for his commercial pilot's license for the second time today.  I just want to cry really.  For him, for myself, for our weariness and lack of hope.  There seems to have settled upon me a sense of despondency, enlarged by the fact that we are far from home and and the comfort of familiar family and friends.  I am tired of the fight, and Don must be far beyond that.  I have watched him labour and toil for the last 7 months with little rest, all the while looking for the silver lining.  He is exerting his best and yet, it is thrown back in his face continually that it is not good enough.  And yet he remains, plodding along, while I struggle at home to wrestle with God and his appointment to this calling, when there seems to be very little breakthrough.  Does God see how we struggle?  Yes, He most certainly does and be bears it with us.  Does He see that I can't make our finances stretch any further?  Yes, He certainly does and He supplies.  Does He still want us here?  Yes, He certainly does and reminds us again and again.

I struggle to write the new book about God's promises, because we battle to live in their truth each day, and are weary for a break from the constant onslaught.  Who am I, I wonder to pretend to tell others to live in God's promises if I am of so little faith?  Oh God, where is my faith! It is like it has been robbed from me while I have slept.  And yet, still I stand.  I stand because He gives me strength, I can own no portion of it.  Please pray for us and help us fight in the spirit.  Our enemy looms large but we know who is victorious. 

Don is on his way home after his defeat today.  May God give us both the strength to keep going. 

So again, I raise my head and look to the battle front, raise my shield, and thrust my sword high. 'CHARGE'

Praise and Prayer Points

As there are many things swimming around in my heart and head at the moment, I thought I would share them with you, so you can celebrate and believe with us.

Praise with us:

• Jack is loving school and God answered his prayer by sending him a friend in his class that knows Jesus. He is loving writing and reading, so this is awesome.

• Sam loves Kinder.  He is exhausted afterward but so energetic while he is there.  He absolutely adores playing with the kids.  His introductory line is : 'Hi guys, I'm Sam', so cute.

• Sam's cardiologist is in the process of writing us a letter stating that he is happy for Sam to live wherever we are, as long as he can attend his appointments every 4-6 months.  This will be forwarded to MAF, so that our application can continue.

Pray with us:

• Don is (weather permitting) resitting his practical flight exam tomorrow for his Commerical Pilot's License.  This would take a load off his shoulders and be a really awesome early birthday present for him (and all of us).

• I am continuing to write my next book and though I am over halfway, I lack the time to really get into it.  I get distracted so easily.  Pray for me to have a focused mind and perseverance to complete what I know I must.

• Pray for safety in travel, as Don is travelling a lot both in air and on the road. And pray for us that despite the changing weather the walks to school and Kinder will be pleasant.  Also pray that our car continues to motor along, as it is well overdue for a service.

• Pray for Sam's continued healing, good health and growth.  He is doing really well at present and seems to be back to his normal self. 

• My Dad is going to have surgery on his foot tomorrow, a surgery that has quite a long recovery.  Please pray for his healing but also for him to rest, relax and make the most of the time he has to be  stationery.

Thank you for believing with us for these things.  Sometimes a monthly newsletter is just not enough! 

Also if anyone has snow gear that they think might fit us.  Could we please borrow it for the Winter if you don't need it?  We are really looking forward to seeing the snow this year and do not have the proper clothes to go.

Love to you all. xx

Jump In And Make Friends

In our 11 years of marriage, Don and I have moved around quite often.  We have always been blessed to have good friends wherever we have been.  There is one thing that we have noticed though and it is a really simple, yet sad occurrence.  When you move around frequently people are sometimes reluctant to be friendly. We have noticed it again since we have moved down here.  It seems that often people have a defence mechanism that tells them that if you are leaving within a year or so, then it is probably not best to cement new friendships-'after all they are leaving anyway'.  It is not something that people come out and say, but rather a silent withdrawal followed by a lack of wanting to get to know you in any depth.  I have had people ask me how long we are intending to be be in Melbourne, and when I tell them, they start to look around and the conversation ends.  They don't bother to get to know us because we are not staying.

Thankfully we have found ways to combat this, and just love people.  We are continually amazed at how God bring friends into our life for a season.  Often we bump into each other in another time and place.  And when we are together we impact each others lives, deepening ties that are not bound by time, and distance.  We choose to sink our roots in deep, so that we can enjoy genuine and loving relationships, no matter how long we may be together.  We have treasured friends that we have not seen in 5 or more years.  It does not mean we love them any less and when we do see each other, we just take up where we left off. 

Hearts remember love.  Hearts remember the laughs, tears and good times shared. 

I look at Jesus and the three short years that he got to spend with his closest friends.  I look at Paul, who never got to stay still for long.  Each of these had a tremendous impact on the lives of their friends.  The effects were life changing. 

How sad it is that we guard our hearts so closely and not share them abundantly with those we meet.  Imagine if our openness and and outpouring of love, was given freely without fear of loss and hurt. 

I want to encourage you to embrace those around you, no matter how long they may be in your midst.  God puts us in places, and with people for a reason and a season.  Let us not pass by the opportunity to make new friends, mates that could be our company for the eternity to come.

If There Was A God...

How many times have you heard that statement?  I have heard it more times than I can count.  Usually it is in relation to something bad happening.  Today I want to talk about this one...

If there was a God why would he allow Congenital Heart Disease?  I will speak about this because it is close to my heart.  I am not defending God.  He is more than able to look after himself in that regard. 

Recently I read this:

A congenital heart defect is an abnormality in any part of the heart that is present at birth. Heart defects originate in the early weeks of pregnancy when the heart is forming - before a woman even knows she's pregnant.(Heartkids Victoria)

compared to this

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed. (Psalm 139:13-16)

So if God knew what was going on in my womb, why did he allow Sam to be born with CHD?  I don't have the full answer but there are two things I know, and these give me absolute peace of heart.

1. We have an enemy on this earth that hates all of human kind with a passion and wants to see us destroyed.  In the fallen earth in which we now live, there is disease,illness,hunger,poverty and death.  But even this will have an end. That is why Jesus died and rose again.

2. God will use even this seemingly bad circumstance in our lives to bring glory to Him, to help us, and to help others.  The time we have here on earth is like a breath of wind in the realm of eternity.  Our bodies were not meant to last forever.  But we have better things to look forward to.

So what I guess I want you to know is that God knows what is going on your life.  He knows because he lives and works outside of time.  He walks with you every step of the way.  He fights for you.  And he has made you a promise that one day, when the curtain rolls back, a new life awaits you.  A life that is free from all manner of disease, illness and death. 

For when we know Jesus, we are made new day by day...until forever comes.  This little boy Sam knows it and so do we.

Sam's First Day

Sam had a fabulous morning at Kinder.  I don't think I have ever seen him so excited.  And yes, he is wearing a jumper and trousers.  It was 3 deg C here this morning!!

I have been amazed at the change in him in the few days.  He is eating and drinking again, and seems to be back to his normal little self.

I was so proud of him.  His confidence in his balance is not the best, and he still walked the balance beams by himself. He is growing up before my eyes.  Praise God for His mercy.  I can see Him in heaven today celebrating with us.  Four years ago I was told it would be better to take his life, now Sam is enjoying Kinder with other kids his age. Yay for God's promises!!

Catching Blessings

Today I feel like I am standing with my arms flung back, catching the blessings as they fall from heaven. Thank you God! We are tired but renewed day by day.

Sam is a little bit brighter eyed today and is having a restful day, while I do some writing. His eating has also slightly improved.  This is the verse God gave me this morning. Thank you to all of those who love us, pray for us and encourage us with your words and scriptures.  You help us in ways you could never know. xx

Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle's! (Psalm 103:1-5)

Struggling

I wonder if I can just share my heart with you today.

I have noticed a significant change in Sam's energy levels in the last few days.  He is not sick.  He just has very little energy.  He slept for 2 1/2 hours today while Jack was at school, when he normally doesn't have a nap at all.  When I went to wake him up (yes I had to wake him, or he would have kept sleeping), he told me that he was still tired.  I have noticed he is more breathless than normal and he has dark circles under his eyes.  Just in the last two days his eating has also decreased noticeably, he has gone back to preferring to just drink and eat now and then.  He is hurting himself and is more clumsy because of his seeming lack of energy.  When he plays he often lays down and plays lego or lolls around on the floor. 

How are you feeling buddy?

Just tired, so tired.'

Do you want something to eat?

No, but yes, not really. My head feels tired.

How does your heart feel?

Puffed.

I know the doctors told me that the tricuspid valve in his heart is leaking more than normal.  Now I am concerned that it may have got worse and that he may need surgery more quickly.  I have been watching and praying for the last 24 hours, but I need your help. 

I am sad.  I want to cry because when you're three, you are meant to have boundless energy.  Instead I have to drag, push, or carry Sam to make the distance across the road. I know he is to go to Kinder soon, and I am worried about sending him.

Sam has such grace in his limited mobility.  When he labours, he just asks for help. 

'I puffed, can you carry me?'

Then I pick him and and I am reminded that he is still not putting on weight.  That his slight little frame is no burden to me.  For a split second I am thankful and then I reprimand myself for even thinking it.

And so I am watching, praying, hoping and waiting. 

Watching him slow, and struggle.

Praying for a miracle.

Hoping that God will answer my prayers.

Waiting to see the miracle he needs.


Oh God,

You are mighty to save.  I know you are with me every second of the day, I feel your presence like the comfort of a warm fire. And yet my heart is breaking, because my son's heart is broken.  You have given me a promise for him and I cling to it Lord.  I cling to You and your Word because I know it is true.  Heal him Lord, restore the valves, the chambers, the arteries and vessels Lord.  Create in Sam a new heart, one that comes from your hand. Only you can see inside of his chest Father.  I can do nothing, and you can do all things.  Let him wake in the morning and be full of renewed energy.  Let him be whole and healthy and let him run like never before.

And yet I say not my will...but yours be done, because I love you more than any other. 

You have held us and never let us down.  May your name be celebrated even now, in this place of uncertainty. 

All my love
Nicole

Imagine

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. (1 Cor 2:9)

So I imagine...

 life free of illness and disease

forever with everyone that I  love

swimming in the river of life

dining with the King

dancing with the saints

and then I reread the verse

and I realise that God is speaking of the here and now...the Kingdom life

So I imagine...

living a life free of fear

seeing my children grow up to be men

...men after god's own heart

growing old and strong with my love, my husband

seeing lives transfromed by God.

And as I live and I see..then I continue to write.

You Shall Not Pass

Did you know that nothing in this world happens to you without God knowing about it.  One of the big walls that people throw up when you talk with them about God is,

If there is a God, why would he let bad things happen to good people?'

The answer is, 'He loves you.'

God will not permit you to wander aimlessly lost on a path to destruction, instead he will allow things to happen in your life that will bring you to realise that you need Him, that He loves you and He holds the big plan for your life.

You just need to read the book of Job in the Bible to understand how God operates in this area.  If you don't read the bible and a whole book seems too much, read the first two and last two chapters.  It will give you the general idea.

Whether or not you know God there is someone who is after you, to make sure that you don't know God.  Satan knows God, he used to be one of his angels.  He hates all of human kind because God loves us so much.  So in an effort to avenge his fallen state, he is out to stea,l kill and destroy God's creation - you and me.

The good news is that God does not leave us undefended.  Jesus died and lives again so that we may walk in good standing with God.  This means we choose to have a new life, for now and forever. 

Jesus fights for us, He is our defender and is all powerful.  He stands in the gap for us covering our sin and protecting us from the enemy.

The scene below is from the movie 'Lord of the Rings-The Fellowship of the Ring'.  Every time I see this scene, God speaks to me about Jesus, and it makes the little hairs on the back of my neck prickle (in a good way).

Photo source: http://www.framecaplib.com/lotrlib/html/episodes/images/fotr/fotr1215.htm
In the movie:

The entire group is running from the enemy.  Gandalf stops and turns to face the enemy, sacrificing his life for the sake of his friends and the mission. Gandalf stands in the gap spanning the abyss, defending those on the other side who are running from the enemy.  The enemy is huge, towering and menacing ready to destroy them in a single blow.  Gandalf raises his staff and sword and booms "YOU SHALL NOT PASS".  The enemy comes charging and the bridge breaks, plunging the enemy into the abyss below.

Jesus stands in the gap for us.  He turns fearless to face the enemy.  The enemy yearns to destroy us.
Jesus declares in power by the sword of his mouth :YOU SHALL NOT PASS!  And the enemy runs, his tail drawn between his legs.  There are none that can overcome the power of Jesus.

Oh yeah, I know who fights for me.  When I lay my head to rest at night I know who holds us past, present and future. 

Although circumstances are allowed to try us at times we know that God does not allow us to be crushed by them. He walks with us and all things work together for our own good and His glory.

Big Day and A Big Ask

I wanted to share with you some photos from Jack's first day of school, beginning Prep.  He had a fabulous day and happily chatted all of the way home. He was elated to have chocolate cake and milo for afternoon tea, and is almost ready to go to bed. 

Jack looks very handsome and grown up in his uniform. Sam had to be in almost all of the before school photos.  They are the best of buddies.

After we dropped Jack off at school Sam and I took a brisk walk to the bakery where he devoured a pink piggy meringue. Shhhh...don't tell Jack.

Sam is also fascinated with listening to tunes on my phone and has it on while we walk all over the countryside.  He sings out loud as we go, and gets the biggest smiles from passers by.

I am cherishing just having time with Sam.  It really is such a gift. 

On another note...

This month is Congenital Heart Disease Awareness month.  In an effort to raise awareness and funding, for every copy of Sam's Heart sold at www.samsheart.com.au for the month of Feb 2012, I will donate $5 to heartkids.  That is the profit I make from a sale.  I want to see Congenital Heart Disease become a distant memory. 

But I need your help.  I need you to spread the word, otherwise nothing will happen.  So far we have sold two books and raised $10. I am hoping and praying to raise a whole lot more and hand over a significant amount to Heartkids come March.  Will you help me make a difference for a child, a family, a generation.  Heartkids not only helps and supports families but they are directly involved in research to find a cure.

IMAGINE WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE WITHOUT CHD!

Time to make a dream a reality.