Friday, April 27, 2012

Fragility and Fierce Determination

I am continually reminded about the fragility of our lives here on earth.

This past week I have learned of two families who have lost loved ones, one a little baby, another a Dad.  At different stages in life, but each so precious.  This happens on a weekly basis.  I watch as families hearts break and re-break as they realise their separation from those to whom they will forever love.

Sometimes I wonder why I continue to search and to pray for those who need encouragement, prayer and love.  Because it hurts to watch others suffer, it hurts to comfort others when there are no words that can possibly be their balm.  That doesn't mean that we shouldn't offer our words.  For I have learned in our own hardship that silence is sometimes the worst sound in the world.

I go through feelings of empathy, and frustration as I reach out.  I experience guilt, for my own son lives, when others have had to let theirs go...for a season. 

However I know why I persist..

Each of these things drives me to  pray, to call out to God to make a difference in the lives of those who are in anguish. To make something beautiful out of something horrific, to draw fragrance from a flower that is crushed and bruised.

And I see miracles...I see medical breakthroughs, illnesses healed, people transformed, not by my hand but by the hand of God.  And that desire to see breakthrough drives me onward, even though it hurt,s to make sure that hope remains alight. To search for that flicker of light in situations that seem so dark.

I may be a Mum at home, but I can reach all manner of people through blogging, emailing, Facebook and other communications.  I can reach out to the Mums at school, and the people I meet at the shops and just sit and listen to them, smile and offer an encouraging word.

It has been four years now and my life has been changed forever.  I can no longer look at the world the same way after what we live with Sam.  There is more to this life than what we can see.  It is real and tangible and is tightly entwined with our feelings, thoughts and actions.  We are more than flesh and blood.  And I have to believe that as I reach out to others in love, changes are made not only in the countenance of a person but also in their eternal spirit. 

As we head to Sam's next heart appointment on Tuesday, I wonder about this next part of our journey.  This past four years has been a steep learning curve and I wonder what God holds in store for us next. I wonder if you will claim his promise with us this week:

Sam will live and have life in abundance.  He will testify to the nations of his healing.

For I am a fiercely determined woman, who has a fiercely determined son, and we serve a fiercely determined God.

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