To understand this post, you need to read the one previous here.
I definitely did not want to go to church on Sunday. Darkness hung over me like a cloud. I have learned by now that when I really don't want to go, I really HAVE TO go. So I sat before church and wrestled with God over it. As I laid down and closed my eyes I saw a dark and stormy sea, waves many stories high rolled and gales blew salt spray through the air. Peering through the mist I saw a boat, me clinging to the mast, being rocked violently by the storm. The vision changed to see below the boat where the sea was dark and gloomy and deep, following a chain all of the way, hundreds of meters to the bottom of the ocean, where I saw the big strong anchor that held me fast.'I am your anchor' came His words. He did not take me from the storm, simply showed me where I was in it.
During worship I sang and I cried tears streaming down my face for all to see, I didn't care. I knew they wouldn't either. Instead the church comforted and prayed with us. A dear man of God gave us a vision that he saw of us being in a boat in the midst of a storm, and then added "Jesus was in the boat with you." He did not know that I had been given the same picture that very morning and now he had added a new part to the unfolding story.
JESUS IS IN THE BOAT WITH ME
He was reminding me I was not alone, that He had not left me.
On the way home from church in the car I closed my eyes and rested my head upon the head rest, feeling weary after a very emotional morning. Inwardly the storm still raged but it was different somehow. Jesus spoke then, 'Peace. Be still.' I did not hear the words with my ears but in my heart. He did not roar, the words were quiet, firm and uncontested. I kid you not, the despair inside of me ceased, the sea became as calm as a lake on a sunny day, and his peace came in like a flood.
I don't know how we will endure all that Sam needs to go through in the future. I have no control over what will happen, when it will happen and how it will happen, but I know the One who does. I needed reminding of that and I am so thankful for God's promises to us.