My Hero

My boys love their Dad.  On our way to pick up Don yesterday afternoon, we were excited and talked about how we were going to collect my husband, and their Daddy. Jack piped up with, 'He's not my just Daddy Mum, he's my best friend.  He adores his Dad, and desires to grow just like him.  I remember doing the same thing with my Dad and Mum.

I am blessed to learn from my children.  Our children know how to mirror behaviour, and change their character to what they believe is the behavior of their hero or role model.  The photo above is a classic example.  It is Jack's way of drawing close to his Dad.  It is his way of saying,

'I'm watching you, and I am becoming like you. See me Dad.  Do you see me?'

Oh, how we as Christians need to be more like that!

We need to draw close to God by learning from Him, watching Him, experiencing Him every day of our lives.  We need to change our behaviour to reflect His, and we need to look adoringly at him and say, 

'I'm watching you, and I am becoming like you. See me Dad.  Do you see me?'

It is only by God's grace, and Holy Spirit's work in our hearts, that we can be changed.  I don't know about you, but I want to copy my heavenly Dad.  I want to be changed day by day to reflect Him, so that when I get to see Him face to face, He can look at me and see His likeness.

God is wonderful and glorious.  I pray that his Spirit will make you become strong followers and that Christ will live in your hearts because of your faith... (Ephesians 3:16-17)

Worship While I Wait

YOU are holy no matter how I feel,

YOU are mighty no matter what I see,

YOU are righteous in the darkness,
You are blinding in splendour,

YOU consume and refine the whole of me,

I am undone...I am undone...

I am lost and found each moment seeking YOU,

Less of me each day and more of YOU,

Broken and reborn by YOUR love,

Until there is only YOU.

(Written by Nicole Watson)

I'm In A Relationship

Spending time with God is the greatest gift mankind has ever been given.  The fact that Jesus reconciled us back into a relationship with God is miraculous; the evidence of a merciful and loving God.  I have had people ask about spending time with God.  I use that term frequently when I  write about him...which is also frequent.

Being a Christian is all about one thing

RELATIONSHIP

not

religion

I know Jesus more and more each day because I spend time talking to him and he talks with me.  We sit in each other's company and listen to music, write on the computer and just enjoy each other.  I consume the Bible, not just read it.  I read a portion and then ask God to tell me more about it, teaching me by his Holy Spirit. I speak about him with my friends and those around me.  I share with other Christians in times of singing, learning, encouraging and listening (sometimes known as church).  He is the first one on my mind in the morning and last one on my mind before I sleep.  At times our relationship is loud and visible and at other times, quiet and reflective, different in every season but constant in it's faithfulness.  He guides my decisions because I ask him about most things (I would like to say everything here, but I am honest).  He teaches me how to love my children and how to bring them up to glorify him.  He teaches me to love my husband in a more perfectm complete and passionate way, because I ask him too.  The closer we grow to God,the more our marriage prospers. 

It is so simple to know God and be saved by Jesus,to become a new creation.  People search and look to religion to fill the void that is in their hearts when what they really long for is a relationship that was lost right back in the garden of Eden, the relationship with their Creator God who loves them.  They try to complicate the simplicity of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, by adding traditions and religious practices that God has never intended.

Spirit to Spirit relationship with God is only made possible when you are a Christian.  As your Spirit and Holy Spirit become more and more entwined, love and every other good things flow over into your soul and then to your body.  People begin to notice their is a change in you, a peace you didn't have before, a joy that remains even in the tough times, a faith that surpasses all knowledge.

This is what it mean to know the living God. This is why I delight in every day,even when it looks to be a mess on the outside.  Yes, I am in a relationship that will stand the test of time.  God is a keeper, when you give him your life, he will never let you go.

Overcoming Doubt

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.(Matthew 7:7)

Often when I pray about Sam's healing, it is very quickly followed by a niggling doubt.  That doubt is something like this.

'You can't keep asking God for the same things over and over.  You are like an annoying child who just nags and nags and nags.  Don't think because you keep asking, that it will mean you get anything.  If I were God I would turn my back on you and walk away.  You are so annoying!  He is God, he can say no when he wants to.  So just give up will you!  If he wanted to help you, he would have done it already.'

I wonder if you have ever heard anything similar.  When I hear words like these I know they are not from God, because they do not line up with the Bible.  The are lies to keep me defeated and make me feel unworthy before God.  God will never speak outside of His Word.  He does not lie. The only thing the enemy can do, is lie.  It is his nature to try and drag me down.  If I let myself believe his lies, my faith is eroded, and slowly but surely I would give up hope. 

I am always filled with hope when I read the story of the gentile woman in the book of Matthew.  You can read the story in Chapter 15, verses 21-28.

This woman comes running to Jesus pleading, begging and probably crying for the deliverance of her daughter, who is plagued by evil spirits.  She knows that she is not worthy.  She is not a Jew but she is desperate and has a glimmer of faith burning deep down in her soul.
Jesus hears her and keeps walking.  He says nothing.  The disciples try to turn her away but still she persists.  She has no other hope.
Jesus stops and tells her he has come to help the Jews at this time, not the Gentiles.  He explains that he can not take the food he has been given for the children and feed it to the dogs.  Israel was God's chosen nation, his children.
The woman mustered up all of the courage and faith she had and spoke '...even dogs are allowed to eat the scraps that fall beneath their masters’ table.'

Jesus beams with delight!  He holds her, looks deep into her eyes and tells her that her faith is great!  Her request is granted.' And from that moment on her child is instantly healed.

May we all have the faith of this woman.  We should have more courage, be more bold because we are children of God.  We do not wait beneath the table for the scraps.  God wants to hand us his delights on a silver platter.  He wants to give us his best, because he loves us.  And so now, when I spend time with God and shower love upon him, I ask him boldly for what I need and I tell him my heart's desires and my dreams.  I will no be deterred by worldly doubts and insecurities.  They do not exist in God's Kingdom. 

And as I plead with God and grow in faith, love and hope with him, I long for the day when..

He lifts me to my feet.

Cradles my face in his warm loving hands.

Looks deeply into my eyes, the recesses of my soul.

Smiles with a grin brighter than the midday sun.

And whispers to me,
'I love you my beautiful child. Your faith is great.  Your request is granted'

And Sam will be healed from that very moment.  It will be complete.

And I will dance before God for all the world to see, because he loves me, he hears me and he answers me.

It's just around the bend...

A Day of Abundant Love and Renewed Vows

I guess when you read the title to this post you may have thought we had attended a wedding.  Although weddings are very beautiful, what I wish to share with you now is just as beautiful in it's splendor.

Yesterday we had the most amazing church meeting.  As my dear friend Jess and I led the worship, God broke through to our hearts, his glory came and tears flowed thick and fast while we praised his holy name.  Holy Spirit was so beautiful, so close, all I could do was weep and tell him how much  I love him.

Throughout the whole service God was so present that we felt like we were seated in heaven, such a  peace filled the room, our hearts, our minds. 

After the meeting a dear man in our church came to me and hugged me tight.  He had tears in his eyes when he released me.  I have great respect for this man because he has a servants heart and is gentle and kind.  Looking into my eyes, his own welling with tears, his voice came strained and emotion filled,

 "Your little boy is going to be healed.  God spoke and said to me that he is going to heal him and it will begin very soon. It will be gradual, not overnight.  He showed me a graph with a straight line rising smoothly on the graph, there were no bumps.  He will be healed and there will be no more obstacles."

I started to cry, with great joy and relief.  I hugged this man to within an inch of his life.  God shared this with him two weeks ago in our church prayer meeting.    I shared with him how in the last two weeks I have been under the most tremendous attack from the lies of the enemy (read here), and now I understood why.  God was moving and the devil was stepping up the game.  Praise God I held fast. Praise God he gives us the strength to endure.  Praise God that he is healing our little Sam!
I can't tell you how much this Word from God meant to me.  He knew the condition of my heart, and he has told us what he is going to do.  We wait in great anticipation for his words to be fulfilled.  God's vow to heal Sam has been renewed in my heart.  I feel like I have a fresh portion of faith instilled deep within my soul and it is dancing with great excitement. We have entered a new season.

Since Easter we have noticed a huge improvement in Sam's appetite and he is gaining weight which is a great sign.  I wonder what we will see next? 

And while we wait...

I will praise him loud and clear.  Because I can't help it!  Because I will burst out of my skin if I can't share the love that is burning like a roaring fire in my spirit. 

Place me like a seal over your heart,like a seal on your arm.For love is as strong as death,its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire,the brightest kind of flame. (Song of Solomon 8:6)

I Want To Glow!

I am the gate, the only way to have life. You will be saved, only because you came through me. You may come and go freely into my presence, and will find your spirit satisfied and at peace.  The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.  My purpose is to give you an abundant and satisfying life.  A life so filled with purpose and wonder that you praise me in great joy! (Spoken to Nicole from John 10:9-10)

When I say I love to be in the presence of God, it is a vast understatement.  I treasure, I long, I hunger... being in His presence.  As you spend more time with God, the more you want to be near him. 

A few years ago now, I didn't understand what it meant to be in God's presence.  There was a woman in our church that emanated God's glory, from the very soles of her feet to the silver gray hair on her head.  I used to physically love being next to her, talk to her , be with her.  When I looked into her eyes as we spoke she had a visible excitement and joy.  A glint in her eye, that seems to reflect from deep down in her heart.  I wanted what she had, and so I used to sit next to her and pray that I could have what she had.  I knew it was God's glory in her that I wanted.  I was frustrated that my own Christian walk did not reflect the glory of God.  So I began to look at what I did reflect.
My hearts reflection was not ugly, but it did contain many blemishes (and it still does), and the enemy wasted no time in pointing them out to me.  He came to steal my joy by tearing at what I did have, whispering words of negativity.  He came to kill any spark and desire to seek God's glory.  And he came to destroy the work God was doing in my heart.  I found shelter in the Word of God.  I devoured the Word of God.  I mean I drank of it, until I drowned out the enemies lies.
When I lifted my eyes to God and focused all of my attention on Him, the more I learned about being a new creation, a daughter of God, his little girl.  I used to spend many hours at night (and still do) curled up on his lap, listening to his words, filling my heart with his light.  The more time I spend with God the more I realise that I now no longer want to be like that woman at church, instead I rejoice with her.  We are one in heart, one in spirit, one with God.  Until this day, she is one of my closest sisters in God. 

When was the last time your curled up on your Heavenly Daddy's lap and let him stroke your hair, while you shared your heart?  Did He whisper 'I love you' and 'I am so glad you are mine'?  Did he take all of the hurt from your heart and the worries from your mind?  Did he replace them with his peace and a warm glow from the fire of his love? 

He is waiting, watching, adoring, beckoning...

Come and bask in the glow of his radiance...

Come and dance in the splendour of his royal courts...

Come and be drenched with perfect love...

Come and let peace flow unhindered through your bones...

Come and be free to worship him in spirit and truth...

Then...

Go and walk in obedience to His word...

Go and share the overflowing love...

Go and touch the heart of a hungry soul...

Go and reflect the wonder of his radiance...

Go and bring joy to the life of others.

A Father's Love

There is something truly beautiful about a Father's love for his children.  It is a quiet and deep seated adoration.  A love that shouts 'you are so precious' and 'I  would lay down my life for you'.  I watch this love grow and prosper between our children and my husband and I watch how they show their love.  It is different to how I show love.  It is more rugged, often unspoken, but so tangible and real that it fills the air like the aroma of a Summer barbecue. Love that is offered and affirmed many times over in a day.  Well watered and thriving.  Step by step raising boys to be men, that will hold love as their greatest priority.

I think of my heavenly Father and his unmatched love for us his children.  How his heart broke to be separated from his children and how he knew there was only one way to save them from death and bring them back into his arms.  He knew the cost was more than he could bare, but he knew he would lose them forever if he wavered.  And God doesn't waver, he always keeps his promises.  So as he promised all of those years before- he gave up his son.  He knew he had given him up, from the moment that he was born into flesh.

Imagine how his heart ached with both joy and profound sorrow as he watched his son grow and obey him out of love.  Like a Father teaching his son right and wrong and watching him learn.

Imagine his excitement as he watched Jesus perform miracles and teach his word to the people. Like a proud Dad watching his son's Saturday soccer match.  Go son, go!  I am so proud of you.  I love you son.

Imagine his love and heartbreak as he watched the very children he was trying to save arrest and torture his  son.  The one that was sent to save them.  Like a Father watching his son struggle with illness, or even a rare heart condition.  Holding him close...whispering his love... feeling his pain.

Imagine watching his son die, in the most hideous and hateful way, knowing it was only through his death that he could save all of his other children.  Like a Father that has lost a child in a burning house while saving the others.

Imagine his immeasurable joy in watching his son, restored to new glory. A new creation, the first of many new sons and daughters who would be saved by his sacrifice. Like a Father watching his son go through pain and trials all the days of his life and then meeting him in Heaven, where all things are new-forever.

Oh yes...there is something that is infinitely unique about a Father's love, it is beautiful.  Unbridled and yet perfectly planned, hard and full of vigour yet gentle and unwavering.  To think that Father God has this love for me, makes my heart and soul soar.  How does it make your heart feel?

Saying Thanks

Oh how great are God's riches and wisdom and knowledge!  How impossible is is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!
For who can know the Lord's thoughts?
Who knows enough to give him advice?
And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back?
For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory.  All glory to him forever.  Amen (Romans 12:33-36)(Emphasis mine)

Saying 'Grace' or 'Thanks' before eating is not something that is looked upon with much favour today.  To those who don't know God, it is seen as merely a religious routine with very little meaning.  To those who know God it is much more than that. 

In the above passage we read that 'everything' comes from God.  All that we wear, eat, do, work, love and live comes from God.  This means that we shouldn't just thank God for the food we eat, but for each and every blessing he bestows upon our lives.  Our lives should be lived in constant thankfulness for our good health, our warm bed, the chocolate in our cupboard, the running water from our taps, the friends and family whom you love and even those who test you patience.  God provides all things, not all of them may seem to be good at the time, but in the end they will bring God glory.  Sometimes it can be difficult to be thankful when you are having a rotten day.  Make a point of thanking God for at least one blessing each day.

Sometimes you can't see the rainbow because you are focusing too much on the storm.

This does not mean that while you are running a bath for the kids that you hit your knees in fervent prayer for hot water and soap.  If God leads you to, that's great.  The thankfulness I am speaking of is your soul's recognition of all of the blessings God has brought to your life.  God will bring little things to your remembrance, and when he does, thank him for them.  When I am bathing the boys I watch them laugh and play, and inwardly I thank God he created them just the way they are.  God is with you every second of the day, he never leaves.  Delight in the things he has blessed you with, and watch him smile with pleasure.  He is our Father.  All Fathers love to hear thank you and get a hug from their children.  Have you given your heavenly Dad a hug today.  He is waiting with open arms.

New Ideas, New Inspiration, New Revelation

Over the last few months God has been giving me new ideas for a book.  In essence the book is about the gift we have been given as the children of the Living God.  Many Christians I talk to have lost their first love of Jesus.  They have momentarily forgotten how amazing it is that they have been saved by the Creator of the universe.  It is my hearts desire to share with others the amazing love of God, to inspire them to share with others what God is doing in their lives, to bring glory Him.  This poem is one of the first of many the Lord has laid on my heart.  I hope to share more with you over the coming months.   Let me know what you think.

The Creator and His Creation

The Creator created; He spoke and it was,

The Word was enough,

Not a finger lifted,

Multifaceted light and colour filled the cosmos.

The Creator created; He spoke and it became,

The waters above,

The waters below,

The skies and the seas set apart by His name.

The Creator created; He spoke by His power,

The seas pulled together,

The earth bared its crust,

The face of the world came to be in that hour.

The Creator created; He spoke and Earth bore,

Intricate plants,

All seed bearing trees,

To produce and grow fruit; He loved what He saw.

The Creator created; He spoke with great plans,

Out exploded the Sun,

Moon, stars, in all glory,

To govern the times and bring light to the lands.

The Creator created; He spoke out the call,

The air filled with birds,

The sea came to life,

So perfectly wrought to be part of this all.

The Creator created; He spoke to the Earth,

News species of life,

Both wild and tame,

Diverse, they came forth as He gave them birth.

The Creator created; He used his own hands,

Gathered dust of the Earth,

He moulded and shaped,

Mankind to love and to govern His lands.

The Creator creates; He gave his own Son,

He died on the cross,

The battle is fought.

The old ways must die the new way has come.

The Creator our God; He speaks and you’ll see,

All power, dominion

Are His to decree,

God was and He is and He ever will be.

Available

School is going well.  If it were possible I would say that Jack's enthusiasm has increased in the last week instead of waning. I must admit I have had many doubts about God's insistance for me to homeschool the boys.  However I have learned that if we are obedient he can do anything and so I am giving him that opportunity. 

Being a trained teacher does not prepare you to teach your own children.  This is a whole new ball game.  The most difficult thing for me to come to terms with is that I now have another role to play-the teacher.  Some people would say there is no difference between Mum and teacher but I need there to be a difference.  I need to be able to show Jack that when the school day is out, I am Mum, and I need my own time too.  Otherwise I would get exhausted and be no fun at all. 

In the last little while God has been asking me to step out of my comfort zone in a number of areas, home school was only the beginning.  I have also started singing in the worship team at church in the last 6 months and the latest project is rediscovering my love for playing the Tenor Recorder.  It has been 15 years since I last  played this instrument, before I became a Christian.  I had really enjoyed it but let it go along with many other things I have learned earlier in life.  Now that I know God, it is different.  I am playing with a purpose-to bless him.  I am not doing it to entertain or put on a show, just to bless his heart.  It was not easy to start again.  I had to relearn things I had forgotten and even take some rejection.  A recorder is not a real instrument you know!  Yes, that was said, I let it go, and now God has opened a time for me to play for him in two weeks at a lady's gathering at church. 
I am not overly confident yet playing my old musical friend.  But I am enjoying it and God is giving me the courage to have a go.  As a wise friend once said:

"God is not looking for your ability.  He is looking for your availability."

If you say yes to Go and are willing to obey he will use you to do great things, things you may never have dreamed of doing.  Do you dare to test him on this?  I can guarantee you won't regret it.

The Book-an exciting development

Praise God in Heaven!

A publisher is interested in publishing Sam's Heart-the book.

I am extremely excited to the point that I am speechless.  Those of you who know me, this is  very rare.

He has made a way.

I ask you to praise God with me, for making a way. For opening the heart of the reader. For sending out this work, which was inspired by him. To touch the lives of others who need to hear words of encouragement and hope.  Pray to keep communications between the publisher and myself open anoint the whole process with his Holy Spirit.  Pray that the Lord will make time in the days ahead for me to complete this work while looking after two little boys.

What an amazing day.  I will celebrate today with singing and dancing.  And I will be busy preparing the book for it's next step.

Worship While You Wait

On the outside, it would seem like not much has been happening over the course of the last few weeks.  But inwardly God has been preparing us for what is ahead. 

As much as we try to be patient, we are not, and would like our home to be sold yesterday so that we could move on.  However this is not God's plan, so we must wait for his timing.

This last week I finished having a skin cancer removed from my chest and was cleared of any further problems.  So glory to God for that!  I asked God to use it to glorify his name.  And while the doctor and nurse performed the small surgical procedure, I had a captive audience for over 1/2 hour. They asked many questions about what we are doing in our lives, Sam's condition and God's plans for the future.  It just amazed me that God used this simple operation to glorify him and letting me share what God has done in our lives. 

We have had wonderful times with friends this week and have been so blessed by keeping our eyes focused on God and not the situations at hand.This brings me to the words that have been so dear to my heart this week:

Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act (Psalm 37:7)

I will praise you Lord, with all my heart;

I will tell of all of the marvelous things you have done.

I will be filled with joy because of you.

I will sing praises to your name,

O Most High.  (Psalm 9:1-2)

It is a daily battle to keep my focus on God when everything else around me is calling out for attention, but with his help I can do it.  When I make a choice to worship him instead of being dragged down by the circumstances, the worries cease, and my heart is light and filled with hope.

Keep your eyes fixed on the author and finisher of your faith (God), keep wading through the waters and you will reach the place of rest and safety.