I Am His and He Is Mine

Mush alert:  Do not read this if you are not into love filled sentiment.

I hear many people tell me that there are few good men left in the world.  I beg to differ, because I am married to the best of them. For twelve years today I have been blessed to be married to my husband and the more years we spend together the more I come to realise that what we have is a precious gift which must be cherished.

Before we were married, 1999. (19 years old, we were married at 20)

When I reflect on our twelve years, it astounds me to see where we have been and it gives me much hope for the future.  Here are the top twelve things I love about my husband:

When he looks at me in 'that' way, my heart still skips a beat.

When he smiles, you simply must join in and when he laughs you know that it is him (no one else has that laugh).

He makes me coffee every morning and delivers it with love.

He can massage like a professional. (But only me of course)

He is never afraid to show that he loves in in private or public.

He is the best father and works hard to keep our family.

He loves God and this just makes me love him more.

When his arms are wrapped around me, I know everything is just going to be OK.

He knows how to have fun and how to relax, and helps me to do both.

He loves to read and we can sit together and do so for hours on end.

He will offer to do something to help me, even when he has no idea how to do it.

He tells me he loves me many times a day.

I love you Don, may the next 12 years be filled and overflowing with what we already have and more. xx

 

32 years old and more in love than the day we married. 

More than History

Warning:  This article discusses the bible and knowing God.  If that freaks you out and you can't handle it, stop reading now.

The bible is more than just a  book of historical fact (it has never been proven false).  It is a book, so woven together that it speaks of our past, our present and our future.  Through it God gives us the truth about:

how we came to be
what we are doing (our purpose), and;
what will happen to us.

Through His truths He sets us free.  For before we know God our minds and hearts are plagued with the three questions above.  Until we discover that knowing God answers all of our questions, there is always a sense of doubt in the unknown.  And I mean why rush right?  "It's not that I'm old and don't have long to go? I don't really need to think about death yet, I'm in the prime of my life.  Lovin' life, livin' it up."

For some reason people tend to believe that when you know God life is boring, that you cease to laugh, get all serious and can't do anything that is remotely enjoyable.  The opposite is true in fact, there are changes that happen in your life, yes but they are all good. 

I am now secure in how I came to be-that I was designed and made lovingly by God.
I now know that I have a purpose and meaning here in he lives of others and I know there are plans for me. 
I know that when I do die, it is not the end for me.  So I can live life fully charged, knowing whatever I face I am not alone, that there is a plan for me and that the end is a good one. 

Did you know there is no other faith in the world that ensures you will live on?  That you will get to see your loved ones again?  I'm just putting it out there.  Did you know God will never give up on you, until the day you die?   He will be forever sending people into your life and opportunities for you to see Him through the haze in life.  He gives us all a choice, and will never force us to love Him.

I don't know why I was meant to share this today.  It's a message that I woke with on my heart.  You can take it and ponder or you can toss it aside.  Remember it's your choice, He made you that way.

Hugs,

Nicole xx

Learning to Run

I love that God and I have this thing called a relationship.  I love that He gave me free will and the ability to choose.  I love that he chooses to love me despite all of my failings.  He is giving me a new idea of what it means to relate to Him in living this thing called life here on earth.

You know the account in the bible when Jonathan and and his armor bearer defeat the army on the steep incline?  You can read it here.  Our move to Longreach has been very much like that battle.  We felt moved to apply for the job in Longreach and we prayed if God wanted Don to have it, He would have it quickly.  It took two days. Then we began to wait to find someone to rent out home here in Victoria and we just didn't feel at peace.  So we asked God, "Do you want us to go now?"  No answer.  Through His word God began to show us that we need to have more faith.  So we decided to throw it all on the line and just go.  If he wanted us to go her would make it happen.  If it didn't we would stay. 

By risking it all, God took our small measure of faith and ran with it.  And we have come to this rather new revelation that God wants us to relate with Him in this way.  Sometimes we need to wait for explicit direction and other times we need to act in faith and then look to Him for confirmation.  Just as God honoured Jonathan's faith, so too will He honour ours.


Doesn't that just blow your mind?  That God in all of His majesty would listen to our ideas, and our desires, because He loves us.  Not only that but just like a proud Dad, He waits for us to stretch our spiritual legs of faith and take those first wobbly steps, encouraging us all the way. "C'mon, you can do it.  Wooohooo!  Look at my little girl go.  Did you see her everyone, did you see how she trusted me to let go and walk?"

"Yeah, watch me walk Daddy.  I can't wait for you to teach me to run!"

Goodbye Treasured Friend

Zoe Watson 1997-2012

When we moved to Victoria last year our two girls (dogs) went to live with Don's parents in Bundaberg.  It was hard to leave them behind but we knew we couldn't take them with us. 

This morning I found out that Zoe had to be put down two weeks ago, around the same time at Don failed his CPL for the second time.  Don's parents did not tell us at the time,as we were already struggling enough.  She was very old, and her time had come.

She was the most patient and loyal dog.  She always looked liked she was smiling.  She was a fierce watchdog and had a real mothering spirit, even though she had no pups of her own.  In fact she even took on a stray fox pup once and mothered him. 

Don bought Zoe a few years before we met and she has always been a part of our lives together.  She lived a long a wonderful life and boy, will we miss her.  Don doesn't know yet, I have to tell him when he gets home.

I have always said that we can learn much from dogs about love, and it is for this reason I believe that God gave them to us.  Goodbye treasured friend. xx

Imagine

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. (1 Cor 2:9)

So I imagine...

 life free of illness and disease

forever with everyone that I  love

swimming in the river of life

dining with the King

dancing with the saints

and then I reread the verse

and I realise that God is speaking of the here and now...the Kingdom life

So I imagine...

living a life free of fear

seeing my children grow up to be men

...men after god's own heart

growing old and strong with my love, my husband

seeing lives transfromed by God.

And as I live and I see..then I continue to write.

Bubbling New Beginnings

This week is one of new beginnings for us.

Jack begins school this week for the first time.

Don will be a commercial pilot by the end of the week, once he passes his practical exams.  He begins study at MST (Ministry training) on February 14th.

Sam and I will have time together, as we have never had before.  He will also start Kinder for  a half day next week.

And I...

and I...

and I...

it makes me wonder what I actually did before I had children.  Oh, don't worry I have plenty to do. 

I will have ample time to continue with the writing of my new book.

I look forward to visiting and spending time with more of the families we have met here,

and anything else that God asks me to do.

I am not in a hurry to fill up my spare moments, I am sure God already has plans that I don't know of as yet.  God's diary is often very different to mine-thankfully.

Last year was not an easy one for us.  Though we lived in the place of God's blessing, there was much opposition to what we were doing. There were many times that we questioned God and each other, about our calling to MAF, the work I was doing with Sam's Heart, financial decisions, and the boys schooling.  I have made a choice to leave the past behind us and now I look forward to new things, new blessing, and new things for God. 

Sometimes when you walk with God, He brings you through times of testing, times of trial, times of learning obedience.  Let me explain, this year He asked:

Will you follow me and serve with MAF?

Will you sell your home and use ALL of the money to fund it?

Will you move away from your new friends and family to do it?

Will you trust me to provide for you?

Will you trust me with Sam, knowing that I will work out all of the details?

Will you keep looking to me when the circumstance for success seem doubtful and you even fail?

Will you speak and not be silent about my faithfulness?

Will you trust me to make a way, when there seems to be now way?

Will you trust me in your weakness, to show my power and strength?

We have said yes, to all of this this past year and much more.  And sometimes it looked like we were failing.

We have learned that when it looks like you are failing on the outside, it is time to dig your heels in and press forward. 

DO NOT STOP!

KEEP YOUR EYES ON GOD AND KEEP MOVING ON.

When God pours out his blessing, do not bottle up what you have inside of you, in the fear that you may run empty.  As you receive, give it away to whoever you meet, knowing that God will sustain and fill your cup to overflowing.

Keep trusting, keep believing, keep hoping, loving and having faith.  God will do the rest.

Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” (John 4:13-14)

Can you hear me bubbling?  You can't buy this living water, but it is yours for the taking... if you know Jesus.

Servant Heart, Servant Hands

The word servant is not very well liked in our society.  It implies that you are subservient to someone else.  The title implies you are weak and unable to know your own mind.  That you are bound to another and have no freedom. 

Being a servant of Christ is very different to the world's negative portrayal of the life.

Bound to God
We are grafted into God's own family when you know Jesus.  When we believe in Jesus we are a new creation, we are bound by the Holy Spirit and are one in Christ.  Being a servant of Christ is all about freedom.  Freedom from death, freedom of heart, freedom of mind that is found in the truth.

Called to love each other
We are called as servants of Christ to love one another,with abounding love that can only come from God himself. If we try to love in our own strength, we will soon fall flat.  Only God's love can change lives, encourage and lift others up.  We are called to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ.

but more than that...

We are called to love those who hate us, who harm us, turn their backs on us, talk about us behind our backs, and disregard us for our faith. This kind of love is impossible unless you know God.  Only God can give you this love that flies in the face of all this world teaches, and tears down the barriers that harbour hate and unforgiveness. 

Free To Love God
We are servants to God, and it delights me to shout it from the rooftops.  The relationship between God and his people that was destroyed in the Garden of Eden, is now restored in even greater measure.  We are free to love our God.

I am well aware of how others view my faith in God.  Many believe that God is a crutch that the weak need to get through life, that He is a 'fairytale' that helps me get through the hard times.   I am aware that they scoff at God and my faith in Him.  It matters not.

I am not here to change the hearts and minds of those that pass my way.  I am here to be a servant to the One who has given me life eternal and live in His ways, so that a glimmer of His light may be seen in a world that grows increasingly full of ourselves, our wants and needs.  That Christ may be seen, His desire to love unconditionally, to save, to heal, to embrace, as the only true alternative to a life of uncertainty.  For God is the only constant in the world in which we live.  All else may pass away, but His kingdom will endure forever.

Come daughter, lay your life down and do not take it up again.  Rise  and serve those around you in love.  Live in truth and blessing.  Live one day at a time, looking only to me.  I am searching the hearts of my people looking for servants hearts and hands, that will follow my leading.  When you love the unlovable all of Heaven shouts with joy.  It is in love that our victory is complete. LOVE NEVER FAILS.

 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Cor 13:4-7)

Where will our world. communities, and families end up if we don't show love? 

When Jesus saw the crowds, he had compassion on them...(Mt 9:36)

This post was inspired by reading  the Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers, very powerful and thought provoking fiction.

Greater Love

As this year comes to a close I can truly say that my plans have not changed, as they are not mine but Gods.  I have set my goal as one not achievable this side of heaven, but one I will reach for none the less.  And so I am sure that my New Year's resolve will not change from one year to the next but instead grow in it's intensity, much like a consuming fire that cannot be quenched. 

I determine to continue pursuing God.

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40)

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.(John 13:34)

I have tasted the fruits of this life and would not choose to live in any other fashion, but the best that He has for me.

When I call out to God and follow Him daily with all of my heart, my soul, and my mind, then he breathes His love into me, to a point where I am overcome with the sweetness of the perfume.  And then when I am called to love my neighbor, it is effortless, as the perfume of heaven is that which envelopes my friends, family and neighbors, even the stranger on the street.  If I have been in the presence of the King, I reflect his radiance and this is what people will see and desire.  To love the unlovely becomes simple as I see them through God's eyes. 

'There is something different about that one', they might say.  'I can't put my finger on it, but she has something I want.' 

It is my desire that others might see Jesus in me, and taste of heaven upon the earth.  For I in myself am nothing.  To strive in my own strength will leave me worn and disillusioned.  Instead I choose to focus all of my effort on God who holds my days, and let Him live in me, that we may see many more faces for all eternity.

Yes, this year I continue one step at a time onward and upward reaching out for greater love, that the small world I live in may be given new life.

A Crab Dinner

Yesterday I traveled to Lilydale in search of two crabs for our anniversary dinner this evening.  Crab is one of the things that Don and I love to taste and never have. Crab is just not available in Yarra Glen, there is no such luxury.  I returned home yesterday empty handed but ended up doing something else in town that is also a God story, which I shall keep for another day.I  have to tell you that we had a bit of a full on day today, I ended up at the doctor with a mild case of conjunctivitis (which I have not had since I was a child), Jack's kindy break up was on and Don had a big clean up day at ACMA.  He arrived home this afternoon after 5pm and we had nothing planned to celebrate our 11 years together.  So off to our local supermarket we went in search of something special for dinner.  As we wandered in, a gift was waiting for us...............................................................................you guessed it there in the deli department sat two blue swimmer crabs.  I almost danced with joy.  This is a deli that only ever has frozen seafood, a handful of prawns and a few fillets of fish, and today they had for sale two crabs.  Heaven heard the prayers of my heart and God provided for us a little taste of paradise.

God honoured the desires of my heart with a crab dinner.

Tonight we honoured Him as we delighted in each other.  We shared a meal with our children and all had communion together.  Jack even made sure we had a chair for Jesus. 

Simple, full of love and sprinkled with blessing from our God. 

Thank you God for the 11 years that I have shared with my husband.  He is truly a blessing to me in every way.

Lost and Found

The last few weeks have been challenging for us.  I have gone very quiet on the blog and also on Facebook and the like.  Generally this means we are doing some soul searching. In the last weeks we have had much doubt flung in our faces in regard to our application to MAF, Sam's heart, my writing, and Don's study.  We must continue to apply to serve with MAF, knowing that Sam may need to endure more surgery in the next 12 months.   No stone has been left unturned.  It has been turbulent and one of those times where there is no better place than flat on your face in front of God's throne.  So if I have been absent of late, this is where I have been.  These times are a battle plain and true.  We emerge from them feeling worn, fatigued and battered by the enemies lies.  And yet when we lift our eyes to the hills we can see we have stood our ground and that the liars have been forced back.  The only place to win the battle of the spirit is in the spirit. 

You might think I have lost the plot, but in fact this is very real for us.  The warfare of which I speak is not some strange and wacky thing at which to lift your brow.  People struggle to understand because they look with their human eyes and not their spiritual ones. And once again we have had to lay everything at God's feet.  Even our application to MAF is held loosely, in the event God redirects our path.  We know his call is true without doubt, what he decides to do with us after our obedience is his decision. 

And yet in the midst of the turbulence there is great renewal and new found hope.  From the plundered battlefield we glean treasures of unearthly value.  We have received a new revelation of God's word, new promises for a new season.   I now value Sam's relationship with God more than the healing of his heart.  I now can go to my God with unmasked love, knowing full well that he holds our future in his hands.  Yesterday As Don pushed Sam higher and higher on the swing, he called,

'It's Desus, I see Desus!  He's so big!'



'Wow, what's he doing?'

'He's opening the window. He's opening the window so we can see.  Look! Can you see?'

Sam opens his arms wide. He continues to beam at the sky, talking to Jesus. 

I don't have to worry about my sons because Jesus has it covered.  I choose not to worry about the next twelve months, because God's promises are unmovable.

I want to encourage you today.  If you are in a situation that seems you are in a fog, and you cannot see the forest through the trees, it may not be that you are lost and without direction.  Perhaps you are just where you need to be, flat on your face in front of God's throne.  Where you feel lost, is the place you are found. Trusting God when you cannot see the end of the road is the very essence of faith.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1)
 

Love The Giver, More Than The Gift

 As the Christmas season of gift giving approaches, God is speaking to me about His gifts to us.  Not only has He given His son for us, He has gifted us with faith, hope, love and eternal life with Him in His Kingdom.  As if that isn't lavish enough He also gives us gifts daily, blessings that fall upon our path, people that we meet, answers to prayer, encouragement and favour.  Another gift that God pours out abundantly upon us are His miracles, and that is what I want to talk with you about today.

miracle n. An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God.

Miracles are an everyday part of life for our family.  There is no such things as big miracles and small miracles in God's Kingdom, if God does something in your life by His hand, then you have received a miracle.  We like to rate gifts according to size don't we?  We all seem to want the biggest gift under the Christmas tree.  Thankfully we have learned that size is not relative to blessing in God's Kingdom.  We repeatedly see God make a way when there seems to be no way, and I am so thankful for his gifts to us, because I know we cannot live this life without Him.

Sadly, I confess, there was  time when I loved the gift more than I did the giver.  I would look for God's miracles everywhere.  Searching everywhere for Him to perform miracles and wonders, signs that would set the world back on their heels, especially when it came to our son Sam.  There was a time when every time I spoke to God, the words that were always on the tip of my tongue were about Sam's healing.  I could not hide it, every time I went to Him in prayer, my heart betrayed my true thoughts and intentions.  I wanted to love God more than what He could give me, but I struggled with my own selfish desire to see my son live a 'normal' healthy life.

At one point God spoke and said: 

When you go to the marriage bed with your husband, do not go with other things in your heart and your head.  You must go there only to focus on showing your love for him.  So it must be with us.  Come and dwell with me because you love me and all of these other things shall be added to you.

I knew that what I was doing was wrong and I so I repented, focused on God and laid aside my own wants and needs in order just to love Him more. I read psalms and sang songs that spoke only to Him, not of my own desires.  I asked Him to help me love Him more than His gifts.  The scripture that God gave me still rings daily in my heart and on my lips:

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.(Matthew 6:33)

And so now when we spend time enjoying each others company, I go with eyes and a heart only for my God.  I come to Him as one intoxicated by His presence, and I know I can trust Him with my desires. I implore you today to not make the same mistake as I did.  Do not put you own desires at any point above your love for God.  For He is above all things.  Love His miracles, yes, but always, always, always love Him more.

When Your Children Suffer He Knows

Do you see how our children suffer Lord?

Do you see the pain in his eyes, and the fear that grips him, when he sees yet another syringe?

Do you see the look of absolute helplessness in his eyes, as I plead with him to sit still just for a moment and the pain will be gone soon?

Do you hear his laboured breathing, his eyes pleading with me to help him, just get one more breath?


Do you see my heart ache when I cannot help him?

Do you see him longing to run with the other kids, and not grow weary?

Can you feel the painful lump in my throat, and the tears stinging the back of my eyes, as I try to be strong for his sake?

Do you hear me, when I want to scream, but I don't because I am in the middle of a crowded place, so every fiber of my being shakes with distress and anger?

Yes, I see how MY children suffer.

Do you see the courage in your son's eyes, even when he has to endure another procedure?

Do you see the trust in him, when he resigns to let the doctors touch him, even when every part of him wants to get up and run?

Do you see me standing and holding his other hand, while his breathing labours and your heart breaks?

Do you see him content in himself even with his physical limitations, and how he draws the attention of the others in a room with his endearing and steadfast spirit?

Do you feel my heart break along with yours?  Do you feel my arms around you, strengthening you in every situation?

Do you hear me when I whisper quiet words to your heart in the midst of your anger, and how my unconditional love melts away every argument you bring?

Yes Lord, I know all of these things.

Take the fear of the future from me Lord, I cannot handle the thought of any more pain.  You have promised his healing, and so to you I turn my eyes and, in You I choose to place my hope. 

If someone you love is suffering, Jesus knows and you are not alone.

PS.  Sam and the rest of our family are well. I just wanted to share this discussion that I had with God today, to encourage anyone else who may face an ongoing battle.   Even on days when the physical pain is not so present, my heart aches at times, looking at the path we are walking.  Thankfully, Jesus knows, he suffered in my place, and is more than equipped to handle my feelings.  He waits to hear yours as well.

SOS-Get Me Away from Myself

Today I have have been my own worst enemy.  I am tired, frazzled from being indoors too often with two small boys, and trying to organise a new home, when what we own doesn't quite  fit.  We still have no answers to whether Jack can continue Prep, or whether Don's medical to fly is approved.  A washing line is useless, unless it is indoors in Melbourne, and the copious amounts of mud outdoors mean the boys use many pairs of pants in one day.  We are adjusting to having one car, so we either wake in the morning and drop Don to ACMA or we stay at home for the day.  We still have no money coming in, as Centrelink takes along time to process anything, this side of next year.  Which is fine because we are living on the money we received from our home, all of which has to in the end, pay for Don's study.  The boys are watching way too much TV, because their Mum (me), needs serious mental health time.............

Last night I went to women's bible study looking to meet God there, to be uplifted, and I came home feeling worse than when I left.  AHHHHHHH!

"Ok, breathe, stop and pray, and claim the promise 'Seek first the Kingdom of God and live righteously and He will give you everything you need'(Matthew 6:33) (and repeat)"

We have had quite a big month, it's going to take some time to adjust.  I want you to see that I am human, a wife, a mother, a somewhat frustrated author, and a woman living day by day with the same mundane struggles that we all face. If you can think of us when you pray in the next little while, you would be showing me more love than you can ever know.

xx Nicole

Open The Door!

God speaks to me in the most amazing ways.  I am always impressed with his eccentric and meaningful tactics.

While in the midst of the message in church yesterday, a loud and unmistakable voice came from the church foyer, heard well above the Pastor and his message.

"Open the door! 

"Open the dooor!

"Open the doooooor!"

No, it was not the Lord Almighty Himself, but our little boy Sam, who had escaped from Kids' Church and was wanting to be with his Daddy.   We let him in, and all was well, complete with many giggles from our friends in the church.

Although the voice did not boom from heaven, it resonated throughout the very core of my soul, from the very tips of my hair to the bottom of my feet.  God was speaking through my son, directly to me, giving me a message to share with whoever will listen.

HE IS CALLING US NOW, WITH EVER INCREASING URGENCY IN HIS VOICE.  THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO SIT AND LISTEN AND THEN IGNORE.  THIS IS THE TIME TO ACT.  LET HIM IN, SO THAT YOU TOO CAN BE WITH YOUR FATHER FOREVER. 

His voice is not commanding, but urgent, insistent, and full of love.  God will not command you to give your life to him.  He gave you free will, so you would make a choice to love him, and to be with him for life eternal.  Just as Adam and Eve had a choice all those years ago, we are all making a choice with our daily lives.  Do we choose to love God and walk his way, or do we turn our back's and pretend not to hear? 

This is not a warning.  I don't need to warn you.  We all know what happens when life here ceases to go on, our bodies die.  Are you willing to take the gamble with your eternal life, that that is where it ends?  This is a message, not just for those who do not yet know him, but those who sit in church week after week pretending to be Christians, the reality being that they never talk to God outside of the church building.  I am not being harsh and judgemental, but truthful.  We are called to be light, we can not be light if we do not spend time with the Light Himself. 

Too much is happening in the world each day for people not to think about their mortality in some fashion.  So much turmoil and perplexity, disease and natural disaster have this affect on our very human minds. And all the while Jesus is calling:

"Open the door! Let me is so I can show you what love is."

"Open the dooor! Let me in so I can give you life that doesn't end."

"Open the dooooor! Let me in so you can know what life is all about."

The doors to our hearts remain closed to God, until we choose to open them. 

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.(Rev 3:20)

Cherish Life

On Saturday, I am honoured to be speaking at the Annual Cherish Life Conference, in Brisbane.  Did you know that if we had chosen not to cherish life, Sam would not be alive today?  One of the options given to us as a treatment for Sam's condition, was to terminate his life.  I am so blessed that we have our little boy.  Each minute we have with him is precious and wonderful.  And yes, he is living life to the full.  Even if it hadn't turned out this way and Sam had gone home to heaven soon after birth, we still would not have regretted our decision. I got to hold my baby.  I got to look into his eyes and tell him how much I love him.  As it turns out many diagnosis of babies conditions in utero are often misjudged, incomplete or just plain wrong.  So when I was asked to speak I was quick to jump at the chance to tell our story.

I have since found there is much stigma involved with those who actively work to protect the lives of the unborn.  These people are not pushy, placard holding, aggressive protestors, but genuinely loving people that want to give a voice to those who do not yet have a voice; the unborn babies.  When I first shared with some people that I was going to tell our story at the conference the responses were guarded 'I guess, it's ok if you really want to get involved in that sort of thing.'

Oh yeah!  You'd better believe it, I will not be silent when I have a chance to save another precious bub who has been given no hope.  I will not be silent when there are Mums and Dad's out there hurting, having to make heart wrenching decisions about their lives and that of their baby.  Neither will I be silent when the Mum's who have aborted their little bubs, grieve and hurt each day of their lives thereafter.  This is not about being militant.  It is about love in it's most truest sense.  There is no greater lay than to lay down one's life for his friends.  If it was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.  I am wiling to take a battering for the take of saving a life.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."-Edmund Burke

I look forward to having the most wonderful time on the weekend with my marvelous husband and when we return home, we get to see this:

because we chose to cherish Sam's life.

Will you please pray that I will speak well and be courageous :)  Thanks xx

I'm In A Relationship

Spending time with God is the greatest gift mankind has ever been given.  The fact that Jesus reconciled us back into a relationship with God is miraculous; the evidence of a merciful and loving God.  I have had people ask about spending time with God.  I use that term frequently when I  write about him...which is also frequent.

Being a Christian is all about one thing

RELATIONSHIP

not

religion

I know Jesus more and more each day because I spend time talking to him and he talks with me.  We sit in each other's company and listen to music, write on the computer and just enjoy each other.  I consume the Bible, not just read it.  I read a portion and then ask God to tell me more about it, teaching me by his Holy Spirit. I speak about him with my friends and those around me.  I share with other Christians in times of singing, learning, encouraging and listening (sometimes known as church).  He is the first one on my mind in the morning and last one on my mind before I sleep.  At times our relationship is loud and visible and at other times, quiet and reflective, different in every season but constant in it's faithfulness.  He guides my decisions because I ask him about most things (I would like to say everything here, but I am honest).  He teaches me how to love my children and how to bring them up to glorify him.  He teaches me to love my husband in a more perfectm complete and passionate way, because I ask him too.  The closer we grow to God,the more our marriage prospers. 

It is so simple to know God and be saved by Jesus,to become a new creation.  People search and look to religion to fill the void that is in their hearts when what they really long for is a relationship that was lost right back in the garden of Eden, the relationship with their Creator God who loves them.  They try to complicate the simplicity of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, by adding traditions and religious practices that God has never intended.

Spirit to Spirit relationship with God is only made possible when you are a Christian.  As your Spirit and Holy Spirit become more and more entwined, love and every other good things flow over into your soul and then to your body.  People begin to notice their is a change in you, a peace you didn't have before, a joy that remains even in the tough times, a faith that surpasses all knowledge.

This is what it mean to know the living God. This is why I delight in every day,even when it looks to be a mess on the outside.  Yes, I am in a relationship that will stand the test of time.  God is a keeper, when you give him your life, he will never let you go.

Overcoming Doubt

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.(Matthew 7:7)

Often when I pray about Sam's healing, it is very quickly followed by a niggling doubt.  That doubt is something like this.

'You can't keep asking God for the same things over and over.  You are like an annoying child who just nags and nags and nags.  Don't think because you keep asking, that it will mean you get anything.  If I were God I would turn my back on you and walk away.  You are so annoying!  He is God, he can say no when he wants to.  So just give up will you!  If he wanted to help you, he would have done it already.'

I wonder if you have ever heard anything similar.  When I hear words like these I know they are not from God, because they do not line up with the Bible.  The are lies to keep me defeated and make me feel unworthy before God.  God will never speak outside of His Word.  He does not lie. The only thing the enemy can do, is lie.  It is his nature to try and drag me down.  If I let myself believe his lies, my faith is eroded, and slowly but surely I would give up hope. 

I am always filled with hope when I read the story of the gentile woman in the book of Matthew.  You can read the story in Chapter 15, verses 21-28.

This woman comes running to Jesus pleading, begging and probably crying for the deliverance of her daughter, who is plagued by evil spirits.  She knows that she is not worthy.  She is not a Jew but she is desperate and has a glimmer of faith burning deep down in her soul.
Jesus hears her and keeps walking.  He says nothing.  The disciples try to turn her away but still she persists.  She has no other hope.
Jesus stops and tells her he has come to help the Jews at this time, not the Gentiles.  He explains that he can not take the food he has been given for the children and feed it to the dogs.  Israel was God's chosen nation, his children.
The woman mustered up all of the courage and faith she had and spoke '...even dogs are allowed to eat the scraps that fall beneath their masters’ table.'

Jesus beams with delight!  He holds her, looks deep into her eyes and tells her that her faith is great!  Her request is granted.' And from that moment on her child is instantly healed.

May we all have the faith of this woman.  We should have more courage, be more bold because we are children of God.  We do not wait beneath the table for the scraps.  God wants to hand us his delights on a silver platter.  He wants to give us his best, because he loves us.  And so now, when I spend time with God and shower love upon him, I ask him boldly for what I need and I tell him my heart's desires and my dreams.  I will no be deterred by worldly doubts and insecurities.  They do not exist in God's Kingdom. 

And as I plead with God and grow in faith, love and hope with him, I long for the day when..

He lifts me to my feet.

Cradles my face in his warm loving hands.

Looks deeply into my eyes, the recesses of my soul.

Smiles with a grin brighter than the midday sun.

And whispers to me,
'I love you my beautiful child. Your faith is great.  Your request is granted'

And Sam will be healed from that very moment.  It will be complete.

And I will dance before God for all the world to see, because he loves me, he hears me and he answers me.

It's just around the bend...

A Day of Abundant Love and Renewed Vows

I guess when you read the title to this post you may have thought we had attended a wedding.  Although weddings are very beautiful, what I wish to share with you now is just as beautiful in it's splendor.

Yesterday we had the most amazing church meeting.  As my dear friend Jess and I led the worship, God broke through to our hearts, his glory came and tears flowed thick and fast while we praised his holy name.  Holy Spirit was so beautiful, so close, all I could do was weep and tell him how much  I love him.

Throughout the whole service God was so present that we felt like we were seated in heaven, such a  peace filled the room, our hearts, our minds. 

After the meeting a dear man in our church came to me and hugged me tight.  He had tears in his eyes when he released me.  I have great respect for this man because he has a servants heart and is gentle and kind.  Looking into my eyes, his own welling with tears, his voice came strained and emotion filled,

 "Your little boy is going to be healed.  God spoke and said to me that he is going to heal him and it will begin very soon. It will be gradual, not overnight.  He showed me a graph with a straight line rising smoothly on the graph, there were no bumps.  He will be healed and there will be no more obstacles."

I started to cry, with great joy and relief.  I hugged this man to within an inch of his life.  God shared this with him two weeks ago in our church prayer meeting.    I shared with him how in the last two weeks I have been under the most tremendous attack from the lies of the enemy (read here), and now I understood why.  God was moving and the devil was stepping up the game.  Praise God I held fast. Praise God he gives us the strength to endure.  Praise God that he is healing our little Sam!
I can't tell you how much this Word from God meant to me.  He knew the condition of my heart, and he has told us what he is going to do.  We wait in great anticipation for his words to be fulfilled.  God's vow to heal Sam has been renewed in my heart.  I feel like I have a fresh portion of faith instilled deep within my soul and it is dancing with great excitement. We have entered a new season.

Since Easter we have noticed a huge improvement in Sam's appetite and he is gaining weight which is a great sign.  I wonder what we will see next? 

And while we wait...

I will praise him loud and clear.  Because I can't help it!  Because I will burst out of my skin if I can't share the love that is burning like a roaring fire in my spirit. 

Place me like a seal over your heart,like a seal on your arm.For love is as strong as death,its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire,the brightest kind of flame. (Song of Solomon 8:6)

A Legacy

What do you most desire to leave as a legacy for your children? 

When you think about what you would leave for your children, do you think of trust accounts, an education fund or family mementos?  While it may be well and good to prepare these things, I am thinking of something a little more eternal. 

What are your highest hopes for your children?

 I believe that the greatest gift and most beautiful legacy you can give your children is the opportunity of life with God.  It is a gift that I am forging each and every day, from the moment I get up, to the moment I lay down.  Children learn by instruction, that is true, but they most often learn by example.  I want them to see me living, breathing, loving Jesus each and every day of my life, through the good and the ugly.  I want them to know that a relationship with your Savior is not just awesome, but essential.  I want them to know that they can trust him with their life, no matter what it looks like.

Children watch very carefully. I am a teacher, I see them watch the world around them.  Especially their parents.

  I desire for the legacy I build for my children to not be bound to their younger years, but be a solid rock from which they can build their own faith and a life eternal.  I believe the only way to do this is to practice what we preach.  Our boys pray and praise with us, in good times and bad.  They see God fight for them again and again.  They see God say yes.  They see God tell us to wait.  They see him say no.  And in every situation they learn about the nature of God and why we love him so much. 

For the Lord grants wisdom!

From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest.

He is a shield to those who walk in integrity.

He guards the path of the just and protects those who are faithful to him.

(Proverbs 2:6-8)

I do not pretend to know how to raise my children.  This is the first and only time I get.  I don't get a re-run if it falls in a heap.  So I want to know that I am trusting in in someone bigger than myself.  Someone who knew our children before we conceived them and who knows their future.  The best and only thing I can promise them as a legacy, is my walk with God, my love and care of them, and my encouragement to walk in godly faith.
If we are honest with God and walk in integrity, we will be granted common sense to deal with the day to day challenges, and God will protect both us and our children because we put our faith in Him.  God only wants the absolute best for his children, so I trust him with both my life and the lives of my children. 

What is the greatest treasure you hope to give your children?

A New Take on Footprints

On our recent trip to the coast God has been speaking to me about footprints.  The picture below represents my life before I knew God.  There were many different paths, some long, some short, some went in circles and most had no sure ending.  The footprints were confusing and choices were based on my previous understandings and experiences.  Following that maze of footprints was a game of chance, which always led me away from my true purpose.  And although it seemed fun at the time, I was worn out, tired and just wanted to find the right path; the footsteps that were tried and true.  The ones that would lead me on with certainty.

When I gave my life to God, all of the other footsteps dissolved away like the ebb and tide of the sea had smoothed them away.  One set of solid footsteps remained.  They were tested, true and strong in their conviction.  They were a narrow set of footprints, unlike the maze I was used to following.  They were ordered by the Word of God, my map of sorts, so I know that they are not based soley on my previous expeirences.  They are the footprints of many before me.  The footpints of a loving and merciful God, who did not leave us to meander through the wilderness, but gave us a path and map.  He also gave us the Holy Spirit who helps us to read and understand the map and guide us when the tide threatens to pull us off the path.  I know I am not alone on this path, God is with me, in me, each and every step of the way.

 Our paths may vary in their terrain but the footprints remain the same.  All God asks of us, is to love him and others around us and obey his words.  Each day, one foot after the other is what he is looking for.  My path is not mundane by any account, in fact it is action packed.  There is no boredom and lack of freedom in loving God.  He is the One who made freedom possible. 

You see when I used to follow the footprints in the first photo I had no idea where I was going.  Now I do.  And my path doesn't end with death but life everlasting. 

Which footprints do you follow?  Who made the footprints you follow?  Do you trust them with your life?