I Don't Want To Be A Heart Kid

It was Sam's last day at Kindy today before we head to Brisbane for his catheter and impending surgery.  He has finished two weeks early so that any bugs he picks up have a chance to leave before hospital.  In the month that he has attended Kindy he has had gastro and a slight head cold. He had a very fun last day and his teachers made him a card with photos that he is going to take to the hospital with him, to remind him that will go back to Kindy once it is all over.

So bravely today he waved goodbye to his class, telling them that he was going to have his test and he would be back one day soon and he would have a flat chest like his brother Jack (we have only told him this once and he is really stuck on it).  At home this afternoon he told me that he doesn't want to be a heart kid, just a normal kid.  What do you say to that?  I can try to encourage him that heart kids are wonderful, but both of us know that it would be better if his heart was normal.  So I didn't lie, just gave him a smile and a hug, and told him, 'I know mate'. I can't tell you how many other answers flashed through my mind before I settled on that one.  It is what it is, nothing more.

Tomorrow we drive the hour or so to Barcaldine for Sam to see the public dentist to have a pre-operative dental check up. They only visit Longreach once every six weeks or so.  Jack is having the day off from school and we are making a day trip of it. 

Gran Watson is arriving in two weeks to be here with Don and Jack when Sam and I fly out.  It all seems a little too real now. One day at a time...one foot in front of the other.

How do I feel? Anxious at times, due to what I know is coming, and not knowing how it is all going to pan out.  Relieved because the wait is almost over.  Focused to the point where it sits continually in the back of my mind, while the rest of me does the day to day.  Humble to know that I don't have any control and just have to trust that God has got it all covered. And in the meantime I try to gather enthusiasm to complete this Avon campaign, celebrate Don's birthday and try to conversate with others when my mind has trouble keeping up with my mouth. So forgive me if I seem vague at times.  It's just me trying to deal with life as I know it.

Christmas Anticipation

We love to celebrate Christmas in our home.  Our Christmas tree goes up sometime in November and gifts begin appearing under the tree soon after.  We delight in remembering Jesus in this way, and the excitement that comes with the celebration.  I am aware that people celebrate Christmas in many different ways but this is a valued part of our family's celebration. It's not that the gifts are extravagant but it is the expectation that builds while waiting, that quickens the heart and sharpens the spirit, while warming the soul.

I love the excitement and anticipation that comes in the lead up to giving and opening those blessings.  For weeks before our children long to receive and open their gifts.  Over time they learn to be patient and wait, even though it is difficult to contain their excitement.  And the surprise on Christmas Day is always worth the wait. 

Our society does not like to wait for anything. We have a become a people who watch on demand, and look for instant gratification of our desires.  I love that this little part of our Christmas tradition calls on us to have patience and wait.  Because there is much in the life of faith that is all about waiting.
We wait in anticipation for the return of our King Jesus.  We wait for Him with great excitement building in our hearts.  The bible counsels us to not grow weary in waiting but look forward to the day of our great reunion.  Oh, what delight awaits us all on that day!  The day that we get to look upon the face of the one who saved us.

And what is anticipation?

HOPE

When I gaze upon the star that adorns our tree, I behold in my minds eye Jesus returning triumphant and bright in splendor.

When I see the presents under the tree, I remember that God's presence is with us always. Emmanuel 'God with us'.

The glitter of lights and twinkle of glistening decorations reminds me of God's glory that rests upon us, by the power of Holy Spirit.

Yes, HOPE is renewed at Christmas. The flame of of my steadfast faith is fanned at Christmas and I feel my spirit not only remembering and celebrating the birth of Jesus, but also His imminent return to embrace His people.

May each one of you be at peace this Christmas and make many new memories to take with you into the New Year.

When Your Children Suffer He Knows

Do you see how our children suffer Lord?

Do you see the pain in his eyes, and the fear that grips him, when he sees yet another syringe?

Do you see the look of absolute helplessness in his eyes, as I plead with him to sit still just for a moment and the pain will be gone soon?

Do you hear his laboured breathing, his eyes pleading with me to help him, just get one more breath?


Do you see my heart ache when I cannot help him?

Do you see him longing to run with the other kids, and not grow weary?

Can you feel the painful lump in my throat, and the tears stinging the back of my eyes, as I try to be strong for his sake?

Do you hear me, when I want to scream, but I don't because I am in the middle of a crowded place, so every fiber of my being shakes with distress and anger?

Yes, I see how MY children suffer.

Do you see the courage in your son's eyes, even when he has to endure another procedure?

Do you see the trust in him, when he resigns to let the doctors touch him, even when every part of him wants to get up and run?

Do you see me standing and holding his other hand, while his breathing labours and your heart breaks?

Do you see him content in himself even with his physical limitations, and how he draws the attention of the others in a room with his endearing and steadfast spirit?

Do you feel my heart break along with yours?  Do you feel my arms around you, strengthening you in every situation?

Do you hear me when I whisper quiet words to your heart in the midst of your anger, and how my unconditional love melts away every argument you bring?

Yes Lord, I know all of these things.

Take the fear of the future from me Lord, I cannot handle the thought of any more pain.  You have promised his healing, and so to you I turn my eyes and, in You I choose to place my hope. 

If someone you love is suffering, Jesus knows and you are not alone.

PS.  Sam and the rest of our family are well. I just wanted to share this discussion that I had with God today, to encourage anyone else who may face an ongoing battle.   Even on days when the physical pain is not so present, my heart aches at times, looking at the path we are walking.  Thankfully, Jesus knows, he suffered in my place, and is more than equipped to handle my feelings.  He waits to hear yours as well.

Renewed

For everyone will be tested with fire. (Mark 9:49, emphasis added)

None of us like the thought of walking through fire.  It does not seem logical that we would enjoy something that threatens to consume our very being.   From a young age we are taught to be wary of fire, to steer clear of it, and enjoy it's warmth from a distance. However being in the midst of it is far from enjoyable.  When my husband burned his finger many years ago, he said it was one of the most painful experiences he had ever endured.  A burn also takes a great length of time to heal, and in doing so still leaves a scar.

The above verses may initially may seem threatening, but are in actual fact a promise that we would do well to lay hold of.  

Everyone is going through a refining fire sooner or later, but you'll be well preserved from the eternal flames. (Mark 9:49 -The Message)

God does not allow the trials and tribulation in our lives to consume us.  He uses times of testing to refine us, to bring us into closer relationship with Him. 

A year before our youngest son Sam was born, God gave me a vision in the night, of our family walking through liquid fire, and being preserved in the midst of it.  We were spent, but preserved. 

In this way God controls the ferocity of the fire, much like a controlled burn of the woodland.

Controlled burning:
Fire is a natural part of both forest and grassland ecology and controlled fire can be a tool for foresters.
Controlled burning stimulates the germination of some desirable forest trees, thus renewing the forest. (Source)


Just as in the forest, fire cleans out the debris in the underbrush, and prepares us for new growth.  It stimulates all of the seeds (truths), that God has been hiding in our hearts, and as they emerge the charred black remains begin to flourish, with vibrant green shoots, which stand in stark contrast to the barren wilderness.
These spiritual changes are what others see, when we emerge from times of hardship.  Outwardly, we seem to have been worn beyond recognition, overcome by past circumstances, and a shadow of our former selves. Then suddenly vibrant new growth appears, and transfixes those that thought we had succumbed to the fire.   I for one am thankful for the times of fire in our life.

(Picture source)

What appears in the charred ashes, is the most breathtaking new growth you will ever see, this side of heaven.

A Day Too Long

My eyes are weary from waiting to see you keep your promise...Psalm 119:123

...and so while I wait, I will delight in the little things in this beautiful life you have given me.  My spirit is tired and stretched, so I hold firmly onto your hand.  Sam waits patiently for his new heart, living to the best he can with part that he has.  It is I who grow weary Lord, because I see him struggle with the cold weather, his ice cold fingers red and blue, his red mottled cheeks.  I see him struggle for breath, trying to keep up with his big brother, coughing uncontrollably when exerted too much. I am challenged Lord by this path that we walk, and I cannot do it alone, my own heart cannot bear it, I must be filled with you, if I am to last one day longer.

So as I wait on you and your restoration for all of us, we enjoy delectable cakes from the bakery...

 

long walks in the park...

and sharing our journey whenever we can, to encourage others in their trials.

Awesome News!

Today was crunch time for us.  We have moved interstate knowing Don has been called by God to do the flying course to serve with MAF.  He has been training, and we have been paying the large bills that come with it.  All of this time waiting for CASA to approve Don's medical.  They found an anomaly on one of his ECG readings, and this caused a number of appointments with doctors and a cardiologist.  Today he went to the cardiologist for his final check - a stress test.  And....

There is nothing wrong with his heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We had a quiet assurance, but still the cloud lingered over our shoulders for the last 5 weeks.  Now the cloud has lifted, and shortly he will be approved to fly solo.  Praise God for his faithfulness.
Many times over the last weeks the doubts have come, especially when I am about to pay another huge flying bill. 'What if this doesn't work out?'.  And each time I would answer back, 'It will be well, God has promised, his word always comes to pass.' And then I would pay the bill.  Faith is lived out in actions.

 Don's a happy camper in the Cessna

 Sam, calling in his position.

 Jack, climbing the tree.

 Sam helping Daddy mow the footpath.

One Month On

Well God has turned on the weather in the last few weeks, and we are delighted!  We have had warm days and cool nights, just like back in Pittsworth.  All of the locals here tell me that this weather is extremely extraordinary, and it is about 7 degrees above average.  Sounds like better than average to me!  Jack began Kindy on Monday, and is LOVING it, and I delight in seeing him so happy and settled. 

Don has been busy dong NAVS in controlled airspace, and flew into Essendon this week, first on SIM and then for real.  He is developing much more confidence in this area, which is great to see, because he is very hard on himself, which is both a blessing and a curse.  He is also studying Air Law, for which he will do the exam next week. CASA is still causing headaches for Don's medical, and have upheld their decision that he must go and get clearance from a cardiologist.  So Don is booked in on Thursday morning to go and do this, to silence them once and for all.  Please pray for breakthrough in this area.
I have been very busy orangising our new home life and looking after the boys (that takes up most of my day).  I have also been selling some of our un-needed goods on eBay, in preparation for our future.   The book promotion schedule has been organised between now and Christmas, so that will be full steam ahead soon.  I have an interview with Signs of the Times Magazine tonight, over the phone.  Then in the next few weeks I have a couple of radio opportunities with local Christian, and regular broadcasters.  I will keep you posted about those, as they can be listened to online.  Praise God that in the first month of sales Sam's Heart sold around 600 copies.  So people must be reading our story, which is awesome to hear! Promotion is great, but it is word of mouth that will get our story heard.  So make sure you keep sharing it with your friends.
Our days are pretty long and packed to the brim, but we are beginning to find our feet here.
Keep your eyes open when checking your inbox this week for the first edition of our newsletter.  If you are not on our mailing list, and would like to be, drop me an email (address in the sidebar), and I will pop you on.
 
I want to take this moment to tell you how much we appreciate, and love each one of you that love us, pray for us, support us and walk with us.  That's what this journey is about -relationship with Jesus, and for Jesus.  Mission is not just about helping people in a far off  lands, but affects every heart involved in the process.  Yes we are going to be the hands and feet of Jesus, but I can tell you that you travel with us in Spirit every step of the way, and it means more to us than you can imagine.

The New Season Approaches

It is a strange and delightful week.  What could be a time of chaos and busyness has been transformed into a quiet time of work and reflection.  As we pack in faith, preparing to move to Melbourne on the 23rd July, all is quiet in the Watson house.  The two little boys are visiting Gran, and with Don at work, I have been left with Jesus to pack, clean and prepare.  It is wonderful to have time to just listen to his every word.  I feel my spirit welling up inside like a spring of water, on the brink of overflow. 
There is work to do yes, but it pales in comparison to the other events of this week.
I have had the joy of spending time with friends before we leave,  wonderful times of deep conversation and encouragement.  I have been blessed with gifts, a new pram for Sam and some beautiful flowers from my husband.  I had been asking God to find me a new pram for Sam,a three wheeler, one that I can do much walking with.  Sam walks very slowly and quickly tires, so to get anywhere at any speed this was a need for us.  A friend of mine found one this week.  I would have been happy with a secondhand dusty  rusty oldy from somebody's shed.  My friend bought me a new one, with all of the bells and whistles!  I was so excited when I saw it.  God gives GOOD gifts.
As God has been pruning us in readiness for the new season, we too have been 'pruning' our possessions, keeping only what we need and what is dear to out hearts.   It is a liberating process that takes time and has happened in waves.  Everything we are taking with us will fit in a small 20ft shipping container.  And we won't even fill this entirely.
I have the joy of being able to share our story of Sam's Heart with a book club in Toowoomba this week.   I am looking forward to sharing our story with more people.

On the 14th of July we are having an unscheduled final appointment with Sam's Cardiologist in Brisbane, to do the final referral to Melbourne.  They will scan Sam's heart on that day.  I have told God I am expecting big things, a change, a sign of hope for his healing.  It has been promised and confirmed many times now, it was to begin soon.  I am believing and living like it has already happened.  God is teaching me now that the promise has gone from my head to my heart, it must now be lived out in my day to day actions.  When I give Sam his medications, I tell him he won't need them much longer.  When we pray together we thank God for Sam's restored heart.  There is no longer any room for doubt in my heart.  The enemy plagues my head with words of doubt and discouragement at times, but I will not entertain them in my mind.  He is quickly cut down with the Word and songs of praise. We are fighting a battle and it is one God will not lose.  We are fighting for the life of my son, and I will not back down for I know who goes before me and who is my rear guard.  He is my strength and my salvation, my rock and redeemer.  His name is Jesus, I will not be afraid. 

Will you join with me in praying, believing and receiving for the miracle you need in your life?

Then Jesus told them, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more. You can even say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it.” (Matt 21:21-22)

GOD INCREASE MY FAITH 

Worship While I Wait

YOU are holy no matter how I feel,

YOU are mighty no matter what I see,

YOU are righteous in the darkness,
You are blinding in splendour,

YOU consume and refine the whole of me,

I am undone...I am undone...

I am lost and found each moment seeking YOU,

Less of me each day and more of YOU,

Broken and reborn by YOUR love,

Until there is only YOU.

(Written by Nicole Watson)

Pick Up Your Sword!

Now that we have put on our tiara's/crowns(read here), God is calling us to a higher purpose.  God has told us that the difficulties and challenges that we face each day, are not fought with our hands and feet, but with the spirit (Ephesians 6:12).  I believe it is high time we stop complaining about our situations and circumstances, and standing in our royal garb, take up the sword.  I see a stirring in the people of God after many years of defeat, a stirring that is awakening the warrior within.  No longer are his people content to whinge about the weather, their latest ailment or their financial situation.  There is a change happening deep within the human spirit, that has been emerged through the signs of the times.  I think we have finally come to realise that we are a catalyst for change.  We have been given power from on high to affect change on the earth.  We are able to do nothing without God in us, but by Him we can do all things(Phil 4:13).  He is empowering us by Holy Spirit.

In this last week we have had a tumultuous time of waiting. We are waiting to see if our home will sell, if we are moving interstate, we are waiting on Sam to be healed, we are waiting to hear if Don passes his medical, and we are waiting to see if the college will take Don mid year.  So much waiting and trusting and hoping.  And while all of this goes on, the enemy of discouragement comes.  This last week has seen us in the emergency department with Sam with suspected concussion.  An ambulance ride at 11.30pm, only to arrive home and well by 3.30am.  The enemy's pathetic attempt to keep us distracted and defeated.  We have had difficulties with home buyers, our finances, and a number of other problems.   It is these times on the front lines that our character is tested. 
With God's help we have learned again and again that this is not the time to accept the lies, become distracted and put your head under a pillow and scream.  This is the time when you take up your sword!  This is the time when you deal the enemy his biggest blow.  When you are on the back foot, the last thing he expects is for you to run and charge with sword drawn.
Shout God's promises, read them, meditate upon them.  Train your mind to block out all negative thoughts and desires.  Sing your heart out, even while the tears pour down.  I have people say to me, 'That all sounds very spiritual, but this is a real problem'. 

What we see before us is not the reality of what we fight.  The reality of the fight is in the spirit, and when we stand our ground there, we see the problems before our eyes and in our heart, transformed into blessing. 

Image source

Will you draw you sword brother and sister?  Will you stand with me on the battle ground?  Will you bring the Kingdom of Heaven down to Earth to prepare the way for the King?

Seasons

I love plants.  I love growing plants, propagating plants, nurturing them and enjoying them.  It does my heart good to walk in the garden at different times of the day, and enjoy the sights, sounds and scents that nature provides.  I love how each of the plants responds to seasons and circumstances.  Many times in the bible Jesus uses plants to describe our relationship with God.  Here are some of the beautiful things we can learn from the seasons in the garden.

To survive the intense heat of the Summer we need to make sure that we have roots that go deep, to streams of living water. Though we may be heat stressed and weary, this is also a time of strong growth, encouraging us to put down strong roots for the next season. Summer is also the time of rain and storms, which refresh us and wash us clean. 

 Autumn is when all of the dead leaves fall away.  We are often pruned in this time to make way for the new growth in the Spring. It is a time of rest and stripping away.

Winter is a season when we are often dormant. A time of standing fast and waiting.  A time of weathering through the harsh frost and icy winds.  To stand strong in this time of this time you must have put down deep roots in the Summer months.

Spring is the season of new life, new growth and new adventure. Definitely where we would like to live most of our days.  However did you know that without the Summer heat and rain our roots would fail to grow deep enough?  Without the rest of Autumn, our lives would be short lived and overly burdened.  Without the cold frosty Winter, our buds may fail to bloom and give fruit.

Each Season holds it's own beauty and purpose, both for the plants of the earth and the children of God.

For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven. (Ecc 3:1)

If you have the time read more of this passage here.

Will You Pray?

As many of you know, God has called Don and our family, to serve with Mission Aviation Fellowship.  To read more about that calling click here.  We have had our home for sale since late last year and have been waiting, praying and living in expectation. 
In recent weeks we have signed a contract on our home subject to the sale of the buyers home. It included a clause that after 21 days, other people can offer to buy our home.  That 21 days ends next Monday, and we have another buyer interested in our home.  So next week should be very interesting.
To make things a little more exciting we also found out that Don maybe able to start his flying training mid July, so that would mean moving to Melbourne as soon as the house is sold. 
It is quick.  But if this is what God wants we are happy,we are ready in our heart and heads, we just need to get moving on the ground!  However we will know nothing for certain until late next week.
So with all of this going on I asking for your prayer.  It is all out of our hands, which I love, because I know it is all in God's hands. There is simply no better place to be.

And here is where we  continually just hold it all up to God and say 'Take it all.'  Every day as we get up and then lay down to sleep we pray the same thing.  Will you please join with us?
I guess I would ask that you would pray for us to have peace and courage.  That all will go well according to God's plans and purposes for us and that each part of the plan will fall into place in his timing.  I am also asking him for confirmation about the move mid year.  I have received scriptural confirmation but he knows me, I always look for more than one :)

And to make this all the more action packed, this week I have a Sam's Heart book signing on Saturday and then the Cherish Life Conference the following week at which I get to speak and share our story. 

This is not a blog where I will pretend that I have it all together.  I don't, and never will this side of glory.  But I will be real and share our struggles and fears.  I will ask for prayer because the bible tells us to love and encourage one another.  Thank you for listening and praying alongside us.  May God bless you inside and out. xx

Overcoming Doubt

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.(Matthew 7:7)

Often when I pray about Sam's healing, it is very quickly followed by a niggling doubt.  That doubt is something like this.

'You can't keep asking God for the same things over and over.  You are like an annoying child who just nags and nags and nags.  Don't think because you keep asking, that it will mean you get anything.  If I were God I would turn my back on you and walk away.  You are so annoying!  He is God, he can say no when he wants to.  So just give up will you!  If he wanted to help you, he would have done it already.'

I wonder if you have ever heard anything similar.  When I hear words like these I know they are not from God, because they do not line up with the Bible.  The are lies to keep me defeated and make me feel unworthy before God.  God will never speak outside of His Word.  He does not lie. The only thing the enemy can do, is lie.  It is his nature to try and drag me down.  If I let myself believe his lies, my faith is eroded, and slowly but surely I would give up hope. 

I am always filled with hope when I read the story of the gentile woman in the book of Matthew.  You can read the story in Chapter 15, verses 21-28.

This woman comes running to Jesus pleading, begging and probably crying for the deliverance of her daughter, who is plagued by evil spirits.  She knows that she is not worthy.  She is not a Jew but she is desperate and has a glimmer of faith burning deep down in her soul.
Jesus hears her and keeps walking.  He says nothing.  The disciples try to turn her away but still she persists.  She has no other hope.
Jesus stops and tells her he has come to help the Jews at this time, not the Gentiles.  He explains that he can not take the food he has been given for the children and feed it to the dogs.  Israel was God's chosen nation, his children.
The woman mustered up all of the courage and faith she had and spoke '...even dogs are allowed to eat the scraps that fall beneath their masters’ table.'

Jesus beams with delight!  He holds her, looks deep into her eyes and tells her that her faith is great!  Her request is granted.' And from that moment on her child is instantly healed.

May we all have the faith of this woman.  We should have more courage, be more bold because we are children of God.  We do not wait beneath the table for the scraps.  God wants to hand us his delights on a silver platter.  He wants to give us his best, because he loves us.  And so now, when I spend time with God and shower love upon him, I ask him boldly for what I need and I tell him my heart's desires and my dreams.  I will no be deterred by worldly doubts and insecurities.  They do not exist in God's Kingdom. 

And as I plead with God and grow in faith, love and hope with him, I long for the day when..

He lifts me to my feet.

Cradles my face in his warm loving hands.

Looks deeply into my eyes, the recesses of my soul.

Smiles with a grin brighter than the midday sun.

And whispers to me,
'I love you my beautiful child. Your faith is great.  Your request is granted'

And Sam will be healed from that very moment.  It will be complete.

And I will dance before God for all the world to see, because he loves me, he hears me and he answers me.

It's just around the bend...

Come Follow Me

When you spend all day with your children, you begin to realise that they think very differently to the way adults do.  Their thoughts are simple and at the same time complex.  I am often set back on my heels by their questions or logic.  I just thought I would share today's wisdom from God, through the mouth of my 5 year old son.

We had a house inspection today (another one) and as we cleaned the house, and then packed the boys into the car, we talked about how we are selling our house.  None of this is new to them, it has been on the market since November last year.  We explained that we weren't shutting the gate, because a lady was coming to look through our home, and if she likes it, she might buy it.  We headed down to the coffee shop to wait, as it was pouring down rain outside.  After a lively tea break we we buckling back into the car when Jack asked me...

'Which home are we going to now?'

Now I know we travel a bit, and we have moved around since Jack was born, but this threw me until... 

'Back to our home around the corner at Pittsworth.  What do you mean honey?'

'But you said we were selling our house.'

The penny dropped

'Oh, I see what you mean.  No darling, it takes months to sell a home, it's not like going to the grocery store.'

'Oh ok then, that's good because all my clothes are still there.'

When we left our home, Jack thought that was it.  It was sold along with everything in it.  There was no tantrums about leaving his toys, clothes and his new scooter.  He didn't even blink. He just trusted me enough to get into the car and go and have coffee.  Where our family is, is his home.  That is faith perfected. That is the kind of trust I want to have with my Father in Heaven.

I make things much too complicated.  I question God.  I want to know how things will work out.  Can I at least have a time frame? 

When we placed our house on the market last year , I was convinced that it would sell lightening fast.  I was wrong, God had other plans.  I wanted everything to happen quickly.  He asked me to wait.  And so now I wait and spend time having coffee with God.  Enjoying his company, keeping my eyes fixed on his face.  Where He is, is my home.  I don't want to live anywhere else.

NEWS: I would ask you to pray with us.  We have signed a contract on our home subject to sale of another property, and there is also someone waiting for that contract to end (in 21 days) to make an offer on our home.  Can you ask for God's will to be done and for the right buyer to get our home.  We know God is moving us on, so that we can follow His call to serve with MAF.  Your prayer over the next month would be valued beyond measure.  Thank you my friends. :)

I Want To Glow!

I am the gate, the only way to have life. You will be saved, only because you came through me. You may come and go freely into my presence, and will find your spirit satisfied and at peace.  The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.  My purpose is to give you an abundant and satisfying life.  A life so filled with purpose and wonder that you praise me in great joy! (Spoken to Nicole from John 10:9-10)

When I say I love to be in the presence of God, it is a vast understatement.  I treasure, I long, I hunger... being in His presence.  As you spend more time with God, the more you want to be near him. 

A few years ago now, I didn't understand what it meant to be in God's presence.  There was a woman in our church that emanated God's glory, from the very soles of her feet to the silver gray hair on her head.  I used to physically love being next to her, talk to her , be with her.  When I looked into her eyes as we spoke she had a visible excitement and joy.  A glint in her eye, that seems to reflect from deep down in her heart.  I wanted what she had, and so I used to sit next to her and pray that I could have what she had.  I knew it was God's glory in her that I wanted.  I was frustrated that my own Christian walk did not reflect the glory of God.  So I began to look at what I did reflect.
My hearts reflection was not ugly, but it did contain many blemishes (and it still does), and the enemy wasted no time in pointing them out to me.  He came to steal my joy by tearing at what I did have, whispering words of negativity.  He came to kill any spark and desire to seek God's glory.  And he came to destroy the work God was doing in my heart.  I found shelter in the Word of God.  I devoured the Word of God.  I mean I drank of it, until I drowned out the enemies lies.
When I lifted my eyes to God and focused all of my attention on Him, the more I learned about being a new creation, a daughter of God, his little girl.  I used to spend many hours at night (and still do) curled up on his lap, listening to his words, filling my heart with his light.  The more time I spend with God the more I realise that I now no longer want to be like that woman at church, instead I rejoice with her.  We are one in heart, one in spirit, one with God.  Until this day, she is one of my closest sisters in God. 

When was the last time your curled up on your Heavenly Daddy's lap and let him stroke your hair, while you shared your heart?  Did He whisper 'I love you' and 'I am so glad you are mine'?  Did he take all of the hurt from your heart and the worries from your mind?  Did he replace them with his peace and a warm glow from the fire of his love? 

He is waiting, watching, adoring, beckoning...

Come and bask in the glow of his radiance...

Come and dance in the splendour of his royal courts...

Come and be drenched with perfect love...

Come and let peace flow unhindered through your bones...

Come and be free to worship him in spirit and truth...

Then...

Go and walk in obedience to His word...

Go and share the overflowing love...

Go and touch the heart of a hungry soul...

Go and reflect the wonder of his radiance...

Go and bring joy to the life of others.

Warning Danger Ahead

Warnings can save us much hurt and grief, if we listen to them.  When we are driving in our car and we see a sign warning us of a sharp corner, we do well to heed that advice, unless we want to end up well off the track.  It is just the same with God.  When Jesus returned to heaven he sent Holy Spirit to be our guide.  In John 16:13-15, Jesus tells it like this.
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.  He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard.  He will tell you about the future.  He will bring me glory by telling you whatever he receives from me.  All that belongs to the Father is mine; this is why I said, 'The Spirit will tell you whatever he receives from me.'
I have had people over the years tell me that we cannot pretend to know the mind of God.  It is true that our minds are prone to all sorts of traps and snares but we can know the mind of Christ.  We may not yet have the mind of Jesus, but I know the One who does.  He lives inside of us and he knows everything that Jesus knows-he is Holy Spirit.  Jesus says in the book of John that he considers us his friends, not his slaves without privilege.  It is his desire that we hear his voice and follow the path he has mapped out for us.  In order to do that you must heed the warnings and advice given by Holy Spirit. 
These warnings usually come well before an event is about to take place in our life.  God does not leave us unprepared.  Let me give you an example.  Before I knew we were pregnant with Sam, I was given a dream/vision from God about our family walking through liquid fire.  It consumed everything in it's path but we walked through it and were not burned or scorched in any way.  It was accompanied by this scripture, 'Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.  I have called you by name; you are mine.  When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.  When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you...(Isaiah 43:1-2).   Almost a year later when we were in the midst of Sam's surgeries God brought that dream to my remembrance, and assured me of us walking through the trouble unharmed. You get the idea.
The most important lesson I have learned about hearing God's voice is to spend time listening to him daily.  If you wait until you are in the midst of a situation, it is easy to be deceived by the many other voices clamouring for attention in your heart and head.  It can be confusing and hard to know which way to go.  If we spend time daily with God, he reveals his path for us, bit by bit ahead of time, preparing us for what is ahead.  And when trouble comes, and it will, you will be at peace and be assured that he is with you every step of the way.  You will be confident in your ability to step out in faith because you truly know the heart of your Saviour.
Do you desire to walk a life of confidence in Christ?  It is possible, if only we would ask, listen and then obey.

A New Season

As the last day of Summer comes to a close, our family is also seeing the changes of a new season.

My darling husband celebrated his 31st birthday.

I have been busy doing the last proofing on Sam's Heart, before it heads off to the printers in the next few weeks.  It is absolutely amazing to see our story finally come together as a book.  Very exciting and very humbling all at the same time.  I know God is going to use this book to do mighty things.

This afternoon we received news that the contract on our home is not going to go through.  We hadn't actually signed it yet, which is a good thing.  The other party pulled out, they really wanted our home but couldn't make it happen.  And although I thought I would be disappointed, I actually feel relieved.  Now I know we can finally say that we will be in Pittsworth for the remainder of the year.  I can settle that in my mind and heart and live accordingly.  It means we are not leaving our church family, Jack's schooling will be more settled, I don't have to pack yet, we can settle in to enjoying another winter in Pittsworth.  We had been praying about it constantly and so we know what has happened is God's will. All of this was a result of us asking God for confirmation; if we were to move to Melbourne and serve with MAF. So this is in essence what it was - a confirmation.  We are so at peace with that.   Thank you to those who prayed alongside us.  One day at a time, onwards and upwards.  We are looking forward to what this new season of our lives will bring.

Whispers To My Heart - My King Will Return

You are my beautiful bride.  Be dressed and prepared by following me at all times.  Don't get tired of waiting and let your lamp burn out while you wait for me to return to you.  I come soon to whisk you away to our wedding celebration.  I am so excited, all of heaven is waiting with anticipation!  Keep your light burning bright into the night, so you will be awake to answer the door when I arrive and knock.  How I long to seat you at the table prepared for us, and share our royal feast.  I may arrive when you are not expecting me. Please be prepared to go at all times.  It would break my heart if you are asleep and you don't hear me.  Keep your dress spotless for me and we will rejoice together forever.  I won't keep you waiting long.  See you soon precious.

(Spoken to Nicole from Luke 12:35-38)

Weighing In

For the last six months Sam has put on very little weight.  It seems to be increasingly difficult to get him to eat.  He is just not interested in food, or he will put a small piece of food in his mouth, chew it up and then spit it out.  We offer him milk only after he is offered food and he drinks all of his milk.  We have tried every approach to get him to eat; rewards, distraction, being stern, copying, but he still isn't interested.  He just says "no thanks" and will either just sit there or walk away.  Now, I remember going through a period of time like this for Jack when he was about 2.5, but it didn't go on this long.  I don't give Sam Up'n'Go any longer as he was losing weight drinking them.  Instead I fortify his full cream milk with powdered milk and then add Sustagen, it has more calories.  Now he seems to be at least holding his weight.  He is also a very active little boy and very independent.
I have spoken to a dietician who wants me to weigh Sam over the next two months and if there is no change they will want to try something else.  I know all of the information about making each mouthful count and adding calories via cheese, butter and cream but I can only do this if he will eat.  He is not even eating ice-cream, chocolate or yoghurt!  Is he for real?
God has given me a mother's heart, I am worried.  I am worried because it is not normal for your child to not want to eat and he was eating at least a little before he has this last bout of Tonsillitis.  If you have any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated.

Please pray.  I know God can change this situation around with just a word.  I've seen him do it.  If feel very alone at the moment.  I need some encouragement from the Lord and some of his help.  Only he can provide the help both Sam and I need.

PS.  It has been almost two weeks since Sam has eaten a good amount of food.

Trust Me

"Trust me I have it all in my hands."

 I have heard these words echoed over and over this week in relation to the sale of our home.  The lady who is interested in our home has put forward an offer, which we have accepted, though she must sell her home first. I am not one to sign a contract subject to sale.  However God has been saying the above words to me all week.  And so we have let it go and layed it all once again at his feet.  We are in the midst of signing a 2 month contract subject to the sale of the buyers house. In most people's eyes this would seem like foolishness.  However God has been speaking to me through the following scripture:

"...O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themsleves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike.  Yes, Father it pleased you to do it this way!

My Father has entrusted everyting to me.  No one truly knows the Son except the Father, and no one truly knows the Father except the Son, and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him." (Matthew 11:25-27)

It pleases God when we trust in him and his son.  What may seem like wisdom to the world is not always wise in God's eyes.  His timing is perfect.  There is a difference in being childish and childlike.  To be childlike is to trust, without all of the questions and logical reasoning. It is not being naive but relying on the one who holds the bigger picture in his hands. 
This is not easy to do.  I have to lay down all of my ideas, budgets, objections and list of pros and cons.  I have to be willing to resign to the fact that I am not in control.  I have to honest with you, I like to have control. 

And so I ask you to pray for us.  For Don and I to have the patience to wait and be joyful in our waiting.  For God to sell our home according to his plan, so that we may move to Melbourne and study for Mission Aviation Fellowship.  And above all for us to have peace, his perfect peace, so that we may rest in the knowledge that we are walking hand in hand with God.