I love that I am human. I love that I feel and love and hurt. I love that God made me in his image and loves me regardless of my continual blunders. I love that He is still making me perfect and that I am nowhere near it yet. Because in all of my brokenness, I can see His hand at work, Holy Spirit making changes to help me, even when it hurts.
Boy, has my faith been tested recently. Especially in regard to our calling to MAF. (See more about that here and then here.)
Sometime you are just in that place where your mind has had enough, your body quakes and your heart melts likes molten wax. I guess that is how I have felt like that for the last 4 days. Inwardly and quietly I have been crying out to God. I have dared to think questions such as:
Are we in the right place?
Is this a fight, or is this God closing doors and us breaking them down, in misdirected fervour?
Can we just run away? Oh let me run away!
Why are you so quiet? I can barely hear your voice above all that clamours for our attention.
Psalm 77 has been my prayer now for the last week.
and within me Holy Spirit whispers...
You know the answers, you don't even need to voice these questions.
Rest in the lap of your Father and let Him work it all out.
If you could just see the battle being waged on your behalf you would be overwhelmed and in awe of His love for you.
Keep holding on...
Keep holding on...
Keep holding on...
Well God is silent no longer!
And now His words blow like a mighty wind, flaming the smouldering embers deep within my heart. God is fanning the flame, fighting the fight, clearing my mind, healing my heart and bringing new strength to my bones.
How un-real life was without Him. I can barely remember what I was like before I knew the love of God.
Yes, we are in the right place, and we are fighting a great battle because God has great things planned. I want you to know that your prayers and mine have been heard and that God is moving to turn the tide. His promises will be fulfilled. God always keeps His word.
6 comments:
The tide always turns. But His love is constant. I am blessed to hear your joy today, Nicole.
Without the bad, we would never appreciate the good.. "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose." He loves you and is always with you.
Your two boys look so alike..they are so precious.
There are always giants in the promised land that have to be defeated for us to possess that land. You've clearly knocked out a few in these last weeks. Awesome. Asking the questions deepens the call. I love the fact you're sitting on that rock. Looks like you're firmly established on Him
Thank you for sharing in the joy Rose. :)
Very true Crystal. Thankfully we bear with each other in God's love, through all seasons. Yes, they do look alike, and very mischievous in this photo.
Good call about the rock Jo. I hadn't even noticed! Thanks for your love and care in Him.
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